Guest Blog: "You teach me how to swim, right mommy?"

I've been too busy to blog, and so has Emily, but she still made the time to do a guest blog tonight. And here it is.

By Real Mom.

Toward the end of summer I figured I should sign Jack and Kate up for swimming lessons. Jack had been taking lessons through the Y’s daycare program for about 2 years. Kate had some mommy and me lessons when she was about a year old but we stopped them because I hated them. The pool was always freezing, plus the water was fairly deep and even I had a hard time standing up and keeping my balance. Anyway, they both had started to really love swimming at the beach this summer. Kate would hold on to my hands, arms outstretched, kicking, saying “Mommy! I swimming! I swimming!” So, I really wanted to keep up with the lessons so they would stay comfortable in the water, since they both tend to…shall we say, be a little tentative with the unfamiliar.

So, after first signing them up with the Y – where they all but promised they’d turn into Michael Phelps after about 2 lessons – I ended up changing over to SUNY Purchase, where their cousins had taken lessons. Plus, bonus: it was $100 cheaper, each. Jack would take beginner-intermediate lessons on Wednesdays after school. I took a leap of faith and signed up Kate for solo lessons (without a parent in the water), for Saturday mornings.

Two weeks ago, Kate had her first lesson. She had to get a swim cap, so I got her a cute little red one with a kitten’s face on it. It even had little ears. So cute. I walked her over to where the lesson was happening. As we neared the end of the pool, she immediately started shrieking and crying and holding on to me with all the strength her little body could muster. Somehow I pried her away from me and handed her over to her very nice and patient instructor, Caroline. All the other little girls and boys were gamely standing on a little platform in the water. Kate was busy shrieking in poor Caroline’s ear, reaching for me. So after about 5 minutes of that, I said, well, why don’t we try watching for a while. Caroline handed her back over, and Kate and I sat by the side of the pool and watched. After about 10 minutes, I said, hey Kate, why don’t you try getting in again? And she nodded (she was sucking her thumb, of course, so didn’t actually speak.), but then once I started handing her over and the shrieking recommenced. That poor teacher. Anywho. After about 5 minutes, I got her out again, we watched about another 10 minutes, and then, I thought, oh hell, let’s just get out of here. And I was ticked at what I viewed as the weakness in my children that they were always the ones to shriek in terror at new things while other children seemed to just go happily with the flow. And, PS, I was soaking wet. Not surprisingly my pants got wet sitting on the side of the pool, so it kind of looked like I peed in my pants. Excellent.

And naturally, there was no lesson the next week because of Yom Kipper, so it’s not even like we could go get back on the proverbial horse right away.

I considered just cancelling the whole damn thing, but then, I thought, no, I don’t want them to be quitters. So I told Andy to see if he could call and maybe transfer her to a class where the parent was in the water. Surely she wouldn’t shriek and cry if we were in the water with her, right?

Last night: I’m putting Kate to bed, talking up today’s swimming lesson. “Are you going to cry in the pool tomorrow, Katie?” “No!” she says: “I swim like this:” and proceeded to lay down on her belly, kicking behind her and thrashing her arms some, pretending she’s swimming. “You teach me swim, mommy?” She asks. You bet, sweetie, I tell her.

This morning she couldn’t wait to get her suit on. She kept saying, “You teach me swim, mommy?” And I answered yes over and over. We got to the pool, and she even let me put her hair in a ponytail so her swim cap would be easier to put on. And we walked over to the side of the pool.

And the same thing starts happening. There’s crying, screaming, wailing, shrieking, and she’s got the death grip on me again. I kept reassuring her: “Sweetie, I’m coming in with you. I’m coming in with you this time!” I pried her off me to hand her over to the teacher (oh, poor Caroline again), so I could climb down the ladder. The water was definitely warmer and more shallow then the Y’s so I was feeling much more at ease. But she kept crying and shrieking, and I was doing my best to be calm and happy and peppy, but I was kind of thinking, Jesus Kate, get it together! Six other kids in the class, all of them bobbing happily up and down in the water with their moms or dads. And Kate, shrieking, “I want to get OUUUUUUUTTTTT!”

But, we kept on. I pried her off me to hand her over to the other teacher, Jennifer for a bit. She kept crying but at least she kind of kicked as the teacher handed her back to me. But she kept CRYING.

After about 10 minutes of this nonsense, I said, “Kate, if you stop crying, we’ll go to Wendy’s when we’re done!” (What can I say, I was desperate.)

Bingo. She stops crying. For about 5 minutes it was touch and go, she’d be fine and be laughing, and then start crying again. And then she got into it. She starts doing all the activities. Lays down with my hands supporting her back for a back float. “Ooooh, this is nice…” she says. Lets me tie a floatie backpack on so she can practice kicking while she throws a little rubber duck as far as she can (must mention, the swim teachers were impressed with her arm strength.) Now she’s laughing. “This is FUN, mommy!” she says.

Then the teacher gets out a hula hoop. She holds it half in and out of the water. The point being for the parent to be on one side, teacher on the other. The parent’s supposed to hand off the kid, while the teacher swoops the kid’s head underwater. So, we’re going around the circle, the whole time I’m debating with myself, “Should I have her try or not?” Then it’s our turn, and I decide. I tell the teacher to please only put her chin in the water; it’s been going so well I don’t want a setback. She nods in agreement and gets dips chin in the water. “AGAIN!” Kate says, but we each only get one turn. A father next to me turns and says, “Smart move. Why push it, right?” I shook my head in agreement and said, Yeah, no kidding.

Then. THEN. It’s time to learn how to jump from the pool deck into the water. Has Andy ever mentioned how much Kate loves to jump? She jumps off every step, rock, ledge, and curb she can find. I stay in the water, lift Kate out to the edge (my god, a challenge for those of us who are just as tall as the edge of the pool). “One. Two. THREE. JUMP!!!” She jumps in. “A-GAIN!” So we do it again. And again and again and again. I think she could have spent the whole class just jumping in and out of the pool.

Finally it was time for class to end, and we did some variation of wheels on the bus as sort of a class goodbye. Kate was fantastic. Laughing and giggling, even though she was starting to shiver and her lips were turning purple. And class ends and we get out of the pool, and she turns to me and says, “That was SO MUCH FUN, mommy!”

As promised we stopped at Wendy’s, and brought it home to eat. We sat in the kitchen and ate our lunch together, just the two of us. And she kept saying, “You teach me how to swim, right mommy?”

And for awhile I thought my chest was going to burst, such was the pride I was feeling for my brave little girl.

Football

Jack's first and perhaps last football game was yesterday; he's officially played more organized football in his life than I have. We found out about the Rye Town Youth Flag Football team through a friend, and although we'd already missed sign ups and stuff given our summer move, we got Jack on a waiting list. Late last week we found out there was an opening, perhaps because some people had dropped out after the first week. Hmm.

So Friday I got an email from the coach saying that the first game was at 9 a.m. Sunday, and to be there 45 minutes early for practice. And that Jack should have mouthguard and a cup. For water? No, a protective cup. In case I haven't mentioned it earlier in this blog, Jack is 5.

So Saturday morning we went out to the store and bought him a mouthguard (which we accidentally melted in boiling water Sunday morning, oops), cup, and strap. Much amusement was had in strapping the thing on, which the next morning at the field I learned we had done improperly anyway. We also played some football in the backyard, running around and tossing it back and forth. So despite some uncertainty, I still figured, eh, it will be 5- and 6-year-olds running around in the grass having fun, right. And it's football, which we love, so, awesome.

Sunday morning we got Jack dressed and headed over to the field, at the high school. Big place with a bunch of big fields that looked sized for giants, but there was his team, the red-jerseyed 49ers. So we went over and met the coach, exchanged a few pleasantries, Jack got his red jersey, and they were off. I watched him run off to join the team.

Practice was a little ways away from where the parents stood; we chatted, and I watched from afar as Jack went through drills. He looked a little uncertain, having missed some time, but I'm still thinking it'd be OK. At one point I saw him pick up a ball (after having it thrown errantly in his general direction) and throw it back to the coach. Good throw, the coach said. I felt a swell of pride.

Shortly before 9, more parents started showing up, gathering on the field. The other team. Cheerleaders! The teams lined up, the coaches yelled instructions, and play began. For each team, several players stood on the sideline, including Jack. He got in for a couple of plays, and had no idea what he was supposed to be doing really, but like in soccer, he gamely ran after the kid with the ball. And then rotated out back to the sideline, to watch some more.

Emily and I stood on the sidelines a little confused by the whole thing. In soccer, nobody stood on the sideline. Well, there was the one game where we had more players than the other team, and the other coach said we should hold some players out, and I looked at him like he was crazy. They're FIVE. What am I supposed to do, while running around calling the game and chasing out of bounds balls, orchestrate an assembly line of players moving on and off the field? Not gonna happen. Maybe he had experience in the football program, I don't know.

Jack came in for one play, lined up on the defensive line, and as the play started, he got flattened by an opposing lineman. It was the kind of play you could see coming, since again Jack didn't really know what he was doing, and the other kid was bigger. The other kid started forward and Jack didn't move; flattened. Later that afternoon, when Jack was in bed with a 102 degree fever, it became clear that he was also starting to get sick, something we didn't know at the time. Not that things would have gone much differently, but standing around in the sun for 2 hours from 8 to 10 Sunday morning and then getting leveled probably didn't help any.

I ran out, scooped him up, carried him back over to the sideline with the other kids who were off the field. The other coach apologized to us, the other kid came over to apologize at the command of the coach, yada yada. It was one of those things. Jack was OK after a couple of minutes. I hung out with him for the rest of the game. Afterward I asked the coach, um, Will he normally get to play more? Because I'm thinking little kids standing on the sideline for an hour or more is silly; if there's an uneven number on the field, so what; everybody doesn't get anywhere near the ball on most plays anyway. The coach said, Yeah, because he missed practices, he didn't really get a chance to have a better understanding of everything, how to pull flags, what to do, etc. Which is true; starting out with a game was probably a mistake (although again, we imagined random chaos like a soccer game, not the structured, college football-like atmosphere we got. I think some of the coaches might be taking things a bit too seriously with 5 and 6 year olds). But that it would be better next time.

Walking off the field afterward, I told Jack I was proud of him, that it was great to see him out there. I tossed him into the air, and we headed off to a late breakfast. We got home, and Jack had his high fever and was in bed most of the day. I didn't feel so hot myself.

This morning I said to Jack (who was feeling better after 12 hours or so of sleep), So Jack, what did you think of playing football. Pause. "OK," he said. Do you think you want to go back next week (actually, I later came to find that the team had evening practices, from 6 to 7:15 on Tuesdays, which around these parts we call dinner time, and that they wanted to have practices on Thursday evenings too. Yikes). Jack shook his head. I said, yeah, that was a little tough out there, huh? He nodded. The previous evening, Emily had asked him if he'd rather play football, or maybe go back to soccer next time. "Go back to soccer," Jack answered quickly.

So Jack, I said, we won't go back. And then maybe next year we'll think about doing it again. And Jack nodded cheerily and said, "Then next year I'll be 6 years old, and I'll be older enough." That's right, Jack. You'll be older enough.

We went out in the backyard and threw the football around, with no rhyme or reason or rule to it. And Jack ran around and chased me and I chased him, and he had a big smile on his face. And football was fun again.

Tooth Fairy Etc.

Jack has had some trips to the dentist lately, thanks I guess to poor brushing on our part combined with unfortunate tooth heredity. So on Wednesday, after school, he and I had to go to the dentist to get a couple of his teeth filled. So I picked him up and, for the fourth straight week, we headed off to the dentist.

We got there, and turned out that Jack needed to have a tooth extracted. The dentist was funny; she said, "We just need to wiggle it. And sometimes when we wiggle it, it just comes right out. And then the Tooth Fairy comes."

As my family knows, there's a story behind the Tooth Fairy for me. The Tooth Fairy always left notes, Scott found out it was actually Dad, told me about it, and I was very upset. So that night I got a note from the Tooth Fairy that put my fears to rest. I think they were normally in my Dad's handwriting and now it was in my Mom's. Anyway, Jack was a trooper, he had his tooth removed, all during it he hung in there, giving me occasional waves and thumbs up and stuff, and I was pretty proud of him.

And then they finished up and he sat up and his mouth was bloody and there was a big hole where his tooth had been, yikes, but he was OK. And then he got stickers and such.

And we piled into the car and headed off, because, you know, Jack's first swimming lesson at SUNY Purchase was ALSO that afternoon. So off we went.

And the big thing I want to say about that is that we changed him into his suit and went down to a swimming pool he'd never been in before to be taught by people he'd never seen before, and he didn't cling to my leg or whatever. No, he got right in the water, and had his lesson.

And at one point they did this thing where they had to swim/lunge for the edge of the pool from a platform. And he did it himself, without a flotation device or anything. And when he was back on the platform he looked over at me, and he gave me the biggest, proudest smile, clearly very happy that he'd done it. And I remember that about an hour ago he was in a chair having a tooth pulled, and I grinned too.

That night, he put his tooth under his pillow. Emily and I debated whether the Tooth Fairy would leave a note or not. I think she talked me out of it, or my own note did. One of the two. But the note I ultimately did sneak in to leave, that he didn't see the next morning (he was too happy about his silver dollars), said "Dear Jack - Congratulations! I'm proud of you. Love, T.F."

3!

Kate turned 3 a few days ago. Three! Some moments.

She wanted cupcakes, not cake. So that's what she got. And she wanted ice cream, of course. Got that too.

For a week leading up to it, she -- having been told about it by us -- would at random moments say "My birthday! For my birthday? My birthday. My birthday!" She was into it.

Jack had talked for two weeks that he was going to get her Backyardigans stickers. So when we did all the shopping for toys and gift bag type stuff, we got her Backyardigans stickers. And a Backyardigans watch. And a bunch of little toy cameras (which I knew she'd love, and Jack did too, and for a week after they walked around with the cameras going "Click." "Click."). The cameras had little animal pictures in them. Jack took a picture of me. He said, "I see a monkey." Thanks, Jack.

Kate didn't want to nap on her birthday. She's starting to want to give up the nap in general. But it's funny when she's really tired, and she'll protest without really protesting. As if to say, well, I will take my nap now, but NORMALLY, I don't want to nap.

We gave Kate a Backyardigans playdough set that we'd held back since last Christmas, from Nana and Baba. (Because she got too much at Christmas.) She and Jack played with it a lot. Today she dug out the Olivia dress-up kit Aunt Robin gave her. Well actually, Jack did. And got dressed in it. And looked ridiculous but made us laugh. And then Kate put it on. At first she was like, "I'm a Christmas girl, I'm a Christmas girl," because it had red bows all over it. Jack said, "No, you're Olivia." So then she ran around, "I'm Olivia, I'm Olivia...."

It was the first time she really enjoyed opening presents; the first time she kind of got it.

How old are you? We asked. "I tree!" she said. "I tree!"

Last Friday Home

Since Kate was about six months old, when Emily went back to work, I've had the kids home with me on Fridays. They went to preschool Monday through Thursday, then were home on Fridays. We had good days, we had bad days, we had in-between days.

But Jack started school this week, and kindergarten goes Monday through Friday. He was home today -- school holiday -- but next Friday, he'll be in school. So this is our last full day Friday home together, the three of us.

I thought about it once or twice during the week, but we were busy and there wasn't much time to think about it, so I didn't. And I don't know how much I thought about it this morning, either. Only when we were walking to the playground at around 11 a.m. on a Friday, and I said, huh, next week Jack will be in school now.

When we got up in the morning, Jack asked me, "Did Brett Favre win?" Vikings opened the NFL season last night. No, Jack, I said. "But why?" Well, sometimes he loses. He'll get 'em next week. We watched the highlights on ESPN, I queued up his one touchdown pass for them to see, while they sat next to me on the couch. Kate, say Go Brett Favre, I said. "GoBettFahvv!" she said gamely.

I gave them breakfast, cheerios with milk and cantaloupe on the side. We saw Emily off to work.

They played with various toys. Sometimes I joined in, helped Jack a little with his Lego building.

We walked to the "baby" playground. First Kate went on the swings, while Jack played on the slides. Then he wanted help with the monkey bars. I helped him, barely. He went right across with my hands barely touching him. He couldn't do that a month ago, two months ago.

Jack wanted to go on the swings too, so we went back to the swings. They both swung high and laughed. Jack kicked his legs in the air like he was running at the top of his swing. "I'm running in the sky!" he yelled. "I'm running in the sky!!!!" Kate kicked too and laughed. "Running in the sky!"

We walked around the baseball field. I stood on the pitcher's mound and fake pitched to Jack. He fake swung a bat. They both ran the bases, kicked dirt on the chalk lines, ran in the outfield grass. They were both wearing their Red Sox sweatshirts.

We headed home. I gave Kate a ride on my shoulders for half a block and Jack a piggyback for half a block. They wanted more, but I said, that's it, guys. You're getting heavy.

At home we had lunch, chicken nuggets and fries.

I put Kate down for her nap. Jack tried but ended up reading in bed. Then he and I played Yahtzee, just like my Dad and I did. And still do.

After Kate's nap, they had apples, carrot sticks, water. We got the new Entertainment Weekly that had an ad for Hawaii Five-O that played music when you turned to that page. Jack turned to that page over and over, playing the music over and over. And dancing and dancing.

In a little bit, I'm walking them to Aunt Cathy's house for dinner, while I go out. There will be days off here and there of course, and weekends, plus Jack gets off school earlier than he did from preschool. But this was our last Friday with all of us together, and I already miss it more than I ever thought possible.

Painting Etc.

We had a painting day, and it was a blast; I don't know why we don't do them more. I mean I know why, because of worries about getting paint everywhere and such. Anyway, I threw down a big tarp (Kate's mattress came in it way back when), dressed the kids in big T-shirts and little else, plopped them down, and distributed paints and brushes. And away we went!

Jack made a dog, and some other kind of animal. Kate makes her multi-colored circles, over and over again. Until the end, when the paints were all mixed together, and they were all kind of brown and grey.

"More paint, Daddy." "Another paper, Daddy." "Here, Daddy." "This one's for YOU, Daddy." It was awesome.

At the end I made a picture myself, of the two of them painting. Jack said, "Nice, Daddy." Kate: "Can you paint Mama, too?" I added in Emily. "And now can you add Daddy?" So I did that too.

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Kate plays with her dollhouse sometimes. It's fun. She asks somebody to play with her, but mostly she just wants that person to watch. Although, she did let me play with the Peppa Pig family in the dollhouse. "You be these guys, Daddy." Sometimes she's playing and I'm working, and I'll hear her say "Daddy," and I'll say, What? And she'll say, "No, I talking to this Daddy." And she holds up the dollhouse Daddy.

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I bought the kids games one day last week. Jack got Minotaurus, this cool Lego game. Kate got Hungry Hippos, a mini version, and she and Jack played with it. I think I wrote about this already. Anyway, that night Emily brought home new backpacks. Kate wanted to put her game in her backpack. And there it stays. She won't take it out, no matter how much Jack asks. It's a little sad really; he just wants to play her game with her, but she won't.

So when she napped the other day, I told Jack we could get it out, and we did and we played it. It is kind of fun. We took it out today, too.

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Jack wanted to play Minotaurus with me the other day, during Kate's nap. It was a busy work time for me. So I said, look Jack. I can play with you, in 10 minutes. But normally this involves you asking me every minute, "NOW can you play with me?" and "Has it been 10 minutes yet?" And as a result I don't get my 10 minutes of work done. So if you're patient, and don't ask me, I will play with you in 10 minutes.

And so I worked for 10 minutes. And he played with his game. Very quiet, very patient. When 11 minutes had passed, I finished what I had to do. I turned to Jack and said, OK, now we can play.

Jack said, "Wasn't I very patient, Daddy?" Yes you were, Jack. You were great.

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We mowed the lawn the other day. Well, I did. And they helped me push the mower, by which I mean, they got between me and the mower, and held the middle part of the handle, and their heads banged into my legs and groin and stomach as I tried to push the mower without trampling them or injuring myself too badly. Eventually, the lawn got mowed.

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Guy came to install our chandelier last Friday. Kate and Jack wanted to help, but it was an electrical thing and, you know. So I said, no, better to just look. They went off into the living room and were quiet for a minute. I checked in on them. "We sad," said Katie. They both looked sad.

I said they could help with their toy tools. So, happy, they got their little plastic tools, and I gave them a piece of cardboard from the chandelier box, and they helped.

Dentist

Took the kids to the dentist today. Some moments:

- I dug out the toys in the waiting room. Their eyes went wide. Ain't no toys like waiting room toys. One was basically the same Fisher-Price farm that they had, which they'd both lost interest in months earlier. Now, it was fascinating.

- We went in, and while Jack was quite sociable, Kate clung to me and buried her face in my shoulder. But then, as the dentist started showing Jack the flashlight, and "Mr. Thirsty," the water pic, Kate gradually took an interest. Then she looked at me: "Can I get up there?" and she climbed into the chair with Jack.

- During her session in the chair, Kate was as obedient as I've ever seen her, opening her mouth, holding still, only after what seemed like a really long time saying "Can I get down now?" So politely. It was killing me each time the dentist said "Just one more minute." I'm thinking, she's 2. Let's move it along.

- Jack was in remarkably good spirits, eagerly opening his mouth and smiling to show his teeth. You'd hardly have known he'd end up having multiple cavities. I felt and still feel awful.

- At some point, both cried, basically after being in the chair too long. Especially Jack. Which was when the appointment ended and they were whisked away to some secret chest of toys, returning all smiles with some big rubbery toy frog clutched in their hands.

Today

Jack wakes up and we hear him go to the bathroom. It's before 6:30, the new sort of rule, so we hear him go in his room. His light goes on. We hear him reading aloud...one of the "Tommy" books that I had when I was a kid. He reads slowly, carefully.

We got some fruit from Aunt Cathy before they went on vacation, plus we'd just been to the grocery story ourselves that morning. So Jack had been pushing for a fruit salad. It was a hit. "Can I have more canneelope?" asked Katie. "More yellow melon?" asked Jack. Much fruit was eaten.

Everyone got dressed. Kate picked out her shirt. She wanted a certain pair of shorts, but they were in the wash. I told her that, and she said (as she's been doing lately), "Oh. Right."

We brushed teeth. Kate always wants to push the footstool all the way under the sink and then stand on it, with the result being she nearly bonks her head, or hangs like she's doing chin-ups off the sink...not good. I push it back some and we brush her teeth. "I can do it...I do it!" she protests. Another current thing with her.

We went out for a game, because it was raining, and because we needed to get stuff for painting the dining room. A combo toy store and ACE Hardware store comes in handy. We got a Lego game for Jack and a mini-Hungry Hippos game for Katie, that I think Jack actually picked out. Very shrewdly -- they both played with it for about an hour. Naturally they kept picking up toys wondering if they could get them. No...no....NO! good grief....Yes...Wait! No! What was funny was at the hardware store, Kate was doing the same thing. "Can we get this, Daddy?" You need a tub of spackling paste, Kate? Really? "Can we get this?" No Kate, we don't need another set of doorknobs. Eventually they discovered the wall of paint colors, and they gleefully picked out colors together. I think we cleaned the store out of "Sea of Midnight," which I can say with some confidence we will never use.

Back at home, we opened up Kate's game, they played it, I made lunch. They then started playing nicely together with Kate's dollhouse. This usually happens right around Kate's naptime; it's like Kate starts playing nicely with the dollhouse with Jack so as to keep me from putting her down for her nap, because she knows I'm a sucker for such great behavior. She's right; I put her down later than usual. But, she naps.

Jack and I build his Lego game. It is awesome. We play it and it's even more awesome. Jack builds the Minotaur, but you can't use him until you roll a black square. We play for a while without him rolling one, so he asks if he can just nudge it onto black. I let him.

It's time for Kate to wake up so I send Jack up. He comes down saying he opened her door and gate but she still wanted to sleep more. I'm about to go up when she appears. "Ta-DAAAA!" she says. Jack wants to show her the Lego game, and I say, OK, but you know it's too old for her and she might not play it right... He says, I know. But I think she'll like it. She does. He explains it to her.

We walk to Aunt Cathy's to get her mail and check her house. They run around and find toys to play with. I take things away from them before we leave. Jack has pockets, but I think I get everything back. We'll go again tomorrow anyway.

At home, they play more with the new games. It's pretty rewarding. Emily comes home, with a new backpack for Jack and a lunchbox and water bottle for Kate. Jack immediately puts on his backpack, which looks huge on him. Kate shows me her water bottle and lunchbox. "Yay, I have a water bottle!" she says happily. "I have new lunchbox! It's Hehyo Kitty, Daddy."

I put Jack to bed. I notice his little clay penguins next to the bed that we made in the oven the previous week...I hadn't noticed them before. I said, those are really good, you know. Have you shown Mommy those? He's not sure. He holds up one. "I think this is the best one," he says thoughtfully.

We read "Good Night, Little Bear," and he laughs at the old mitten under the stove, and at Little Bear bumping his head on the ceiling. Lights out, then sleep. He doesn't want songs tonight, he's tired. It's been a day.

random

Jack said, "When Kate is bossy to me, she does it in a nice way."

Kate likes to appear in the mornings (or afternoons, or evenings, but especially mornings) by stepping forward, standing with her feet apart, and throwing her hands up and saying, with a big smile, "Ta-DAAAAAAA!"

Jack offers to pay me to let him do things. "If you let us get McDonalds, I'll give you $7 from my piggy bank."

Jack read a library book in the car on the way home the other day, maybe I mentioned it already. Today, he sat on the couch with Kate and slowly, quietly, read it to her.

Kids at Home, Random Events

Captain Hammer

Jack and Kate played with toy carpentry tools. They both ran over holding a hammer.

Jack: "I'm Captain Hammer!!!"

Kate: "I Captam Hammer!!!!!"

Drawing

Jack and Kate sat down at the little table in the play room to draw and color. They used the art book where you trace your hand and make animals and such. They then brought all the pictures upstairs to show me. Jack laid them out, and they both talked at once.

Jack: "That's a dragon...and that's a dinosaur....that's a giraffe...." What's that? "That's a squid, Daddy." His elephant was awesome.

Kate: (filling in sound effects as Jack pointed out the animals) "Rahhh!" "Rahrrrrrr!" "No, Jack, let me. Let me. Rahhhhh!"

DMV

Went to the DMV to get my driver's license. With the kids! Had a backpack with one pad of paper and a pen. First Jack used it, while Kate ate a box of raisins. Then Kate used it, marking my shorts with the pen of course, while Jack looked at pictures on my phone.

Waiting up at the counter, the kids noticed the footsteps painted on the floor (for people to stand in for eye tests). They happily ran around, putting their feet in different footsteps, looking at each other, and cracking up. I can't help but think they helped things move more quickly for me.

Beach with Jack's class.

We met Jack's old preschool class at the beach. Before going he asked if he could wear his Tiggers orange shirt (with the class name on it) "So they all know who I am," he explained. So of course he did.

When we approached the class, he ran over. Everyone yelled. He was greeted like a conquering hero; big hugs all around. They clapped him on the back like he'd just returned from some big trip. It was pretty cute. They all played in the sand and the water together.

Afterward, he lined up with the class for showers outside the changing room, then we all traipsed over to picnic tables and ate lunch. Jack sat next to Teddy drinking his juice box and eating his sandwich. Kate sat between two of the girls in Jack's class, I think it was Harley and Isley. She sat very still, as though happy to be included with all the other kids. All her big brother's old friends.

Chair Box

We went to Ikea this weekend and bought a chair and a couch. They were delivered today, and we assembled the chair. The huge box went on the front porch, to be put out with recycling tomorrow.

Or so I thought. After dinner, the kids and Emily went out on the porch.

"What's that?"asked Kate, and Emily said, well, it's a box. And then, It can be a boat.

So then they started climbing in and out. They'd lie down, and then one would climb out, and they'd close it, and then they'd pop out.

It was a place to curl up. A place to hide in. A boat, a car, a secret box.

They played cooperatively, Emily said to me later. I feel like it's the longest I've seen them play together without fighting.

They also came in and out of the house a few times. Ultimately I went out and saw that they had Puppy, Monkey, a throw pillow, magnetic McDonald's Spider-Man toy, and a blanket in the box.

"Get in, Daddy," said Jack. I did. He closed the box. Kate kneed me in the back. I climbed out again. Jack climbed in.

This went on for a while. Tomorrow we'll put together the couch, and I guess the box will go out on the porch for a little while.

Kids at home, Leaping Lizards

It was brutally hot, and Jack was asking about going somewhere. It was too late to make the hour-long drive to the zoo, too expensive (and we'd just gone) to go to the aquarium, too late to try to get it together for a beach trip. So we decided on Leaping Lizards, being that it was close, only mildly expensive, and oh yeah it had air conditioning.

Basically it's a big indoor play area, with bouncy castles and slides and other soft, inflatable exercise things and tunnels and mazes and stuff. And ball pits, for kids to fall about in -- a highlight for Katie.

Best thing about the whole thing was finding out what a great big brother Jack is. Because it's really more geared to his age, and Kate would get stuck in tunnels or confused and start to cry.

And I'd be outside the maze, and couldn't get in easily, and couldn't even see Kate sometimes. And then I'd hear Jack: "Here, Kate. Kate....come this way." And then she'd stop crying, and a minute or two later they'd both appear from one of the tunnel openings or slides. First Jack, then Kate, obediently following her big brother.

At one point her foot was stuck in a net in a big jumpy ball pit. She cried. Jack went back to help her get out.

There was a drinking fountain there; Jack could reach it, Kate couldn't. He got his drink, while she stood off to the side, on tippy toes, trying to watch. Then Jack would say, "Daddy, Kate needs help." And I'd go and lift her up, and she'd drink from the fountain.

Time to leave, they took turns hitting elevator buttons, and we headed back home.

Kids at Home, Birthday, Etc.

Birthday today. Stunningly, Jack and Kate both slept in. Jack came in a little after 7. He had a broad grin on his face, almost incredulous. "I just woke up!" he said. He got into bed and I hugged him.

I got lots of handmade birthday cards. Kate's been doing this thing where she uses lots of different colors to make circles and dots on the page. She called it a rainbow once I think. Jack made me a card with some kind of sea monster on it, then another with "an electric panel." I said, piano? He said, slowly so I could understand, "PANEL."

Got munchkin donuts for everyone. They disappeared quickly. I maybe got one.

We headed out to the beach. Jack and I had our usual joke where we see a sandy beach about half a mile from where we're actually going and I ask him if he wants to get out here, and he laughs and says no. He reminds me if I'm slow to ask him.

We set up shop and immediately the kids bolted for the water. We rounded them back up to lather them up with sunblock. After that, the beach was pretty much as normal, just one extra parent and three extra kids. Abbey does her steamboat swim (that's what it was called when I learned it). Mikey jumps and splashes in the water. Niamh seemed happy to be cool at last; it's been ridiculously hot here.

All the kids wore swim goggles, so Jack wanted a pair too; there were extras. He then was extra brave about putting his face in the water, which was nice to see.

At one point, Kate slipped in the water. Robin lifted her out. Kate cried for a while, but then rallied. Niamh related how Kate described the accident. "I was in the water and then I was down there (pointing) and then I was up. I not crying any more!" Sometimes she does a long, stream-of-consciousness talk that's pretty funny.

We got chicken nuggets, hotdogs, fries, juice boxes. I think we were hungrier than the kids were. They wanted to go back in the water.

Back at home, we cranked the air conditioner and watched Toy Story II.

Pizza, football ice cream cake, blueberry pie. More homemade cards. Abbey almost missed dinner while spending about half an hour on her card; it showed. Jack, in addition to his card, made two construction paper turtles, big and small. The Daddy and the baby turtle. He said he knew I liked turtles.

______________________

I put Jack to bed, it was pretty hot in his room. After reading to him, lying down for songs, I said to him, I can't stay long, it's too hot for me. Jack said, "Well, we don't have to hug. You can just lay with me."

So I did.


____________________

Friday, most of us kind of slept lousy. Jack ended up switching rooms with Emily, because he was hot or having bad dreams or both, and keeping Niamh up. I shared the bed with him. For a small guy he moves around a lot in bed. He seemed rested in the morning. Me, not so much.

Waking up, he made his monkey (currently one of his two favorite stuffed toys) bounce around on the bed. Then I made it dance. Jack laughed.

We set up and played the Lego game. Mikey won the first game, Jack the second. I did not win any games.

Went to the playground. We were there maybe 10 minutes when the ice cream truck showed up. So much for the playground. Got some great pictures of the kids inhaling their ice cream. Much ice cream got onto faces and hands, but at least I talked Kate out of the Dora ice cream and into a strawberry eclair, my favorite as a kid if memory serves. Jack had one shaped like Iron Man's head.

_____________________________________

After Robin and the kids left today, Kate was napping and I was setting up the new Lego game with Jack. I said, I miss Robin already.

Jack said, "Did you hug her goodbye?" I said yes.

He thought about it for a minute, then said, "Well, maybe you should get on the computer and send her a hug."

I said, well, that's a good idea. I can't right now though.

"Because you promised you'd play the Lego game with me?"

That's right, Jack.

Kids at home, Day 1

We decided to keep both kids home the month of August. Save a little money, give Jack a break before he started kindergarten. Seemed like a good idea at the time. So I'm going to be writing about it a lot.

Today they watched TV from about 7:30 until 9 in the morning, while I did a little work. That will probably be a recurring theme. I'm not really awake anyway, plus I've got to clear my plate of some work type things.

We then had 2nd breakfast (for them; 1st breakfast for me). Cereal, frozen waffles/pancakes, fruit. I think they could basically eat cereal all day long. Jack asked for a third bowl of cereal this morning, while his pancakes were in the toaster. Exasperated, I said, No. He said, "Why?" like he could fathom no reason why eating half a box of cereal was a bad thing. We need to shop at Costco more.

After breakfast, Jack wanted to play with his clay, given to him by Nana and Baba. I had advised him to wait until Kate's nap, but he said it would be OK. After 10 minutes of her grabbing clumps of clay and mashing them together, and him saying "No, Kate," he sighed and said to me, "You were right, Daddy." Score.

We were going to go for a walk, but it rained for about 5 or 10 minutes, so instead they played in the playroom. Kate was acting like she wanted to nap, which was odd since it was about 10:30 and she'd slept until 6:15 or so (good for her). It had cleared up, so I thought we might go for that walk. We headed upstairs to get dressed and I took a quick shower.

Came out to find Jack had gone back downstairs and Kate was in Jack's room. Asleep. On his bed, from which the sheets had been stripped. It was 11 a.m. about 2 hours before she normally naps. So I got dressed, went downstairs, and Jack and I made things with his clay. He made an impressive little family of penguins, which we baked in the oven. He was pleased.

We went outside to play with these scoop game toys Emily had bought. Jack couldn't get the ball to go forward, but rather off to his side. It was tricky. He told me, "Daddy, you should stand over there," at his side. I did, and of course he turned, tried to throw it to me, and it went off to the side again. He laughed.

We opted for a variation on the game, where we threw the ball at the small basketball hoop with the scoops. Absolutely impossible to get it in. Finally we stood about three feet away and I slammed the ball and scoop through the net. Jack cracked up, and then did the same thing.

Kate woke up and we had lunch and went to the beach. I figured, well, Kate's already had her nap, so we can sit around for 4 hours and probably get cranky and whiny (and they wouldn't be much better) or go to the beach. So we did.

We hadn't been to the beach for at least 2 weeks (seemed longer), but they acted like they'd never been away. Both started walking down to the water with their pails and shovels while I was still assembling the umbrella. Kate went right up to her ankles (I ran after her and splashed water). I say this because our kids aren't necessarily the most daring in the world. But they've really taken to the ocean thanks to the frequency with which we go, and it's awesome and gratifying. We played in the water like it was nothing, which was not the case at the beginning of the summer.

Jack splashed me. Kate splashed Jack. Jack splashed Kate. Kate thought about crying, then instead splashed me. Jack tried to clamber onto my back. Kate wanted to be bounced up and down in the water. We all walked out to this sandbar where given the time and more adult help I'd have staged a picture that made it look like they could walk on water. It was pretty cool. Jack wanted to go out deeper, but it would have been over Kate's head so we didn't.

We had snacks, Dora fruit bites and grapes and juice boxes. Then they ran back to the water. My magazine went unread.

Did not find the hat Jack lost a few weeks back. The people at the lifeguard shack where there might have been a Lost and Found looked at me like I was joking. My son lost a hat here two weeks ago.... I may as well have been asking if they'd found the Ark of the Covenant.

In the car on the way home from the beach, Jack asked for the Boat that Rocked soundtrack, and he jammed in the back seat to '60s and '70s rock.

We turned it off as we approached home. A sun-kissed and half-sleepy Kate started singing Jack's Stewie the Duck song. "Don't...jump...in...till you know...how to swim...Cover your chest...with the safe...life...vest..."

Jack's last preschool day

Today was Jack's last day of preschool. I got bits and pieces of it, from several sources.

Emily: "We were going to get Munchkins, but Jack wanted big donuts, so we got big ones for his class and Munchkins for Kate's. ... I teared up a little after dropping him off."

Miss Liz (when I picked him up): "OK, take turns hugging Jack goodbye. Teddy, Olivia, take turns!" (They were crushing him. On the bright side, they were going to see him on Sunday anyway at Charleigh's birthday party.) And: "Another girl's last day was last week, and she brought donuts, but there weren't enough so they had to be cut in half. Jack said, 'I brought 14 donuts, so they don't have to be cut in half...everyone gets a donut!' He was very proud."

Jack: "I hugged Mr. Brendan goodbye and he hugged me so hard he picked me up off the floor! And then he patted my stomach like THIS! And then I patted his stomach TOO!"

"Mr. Brendan said I was the King of the Classroom, and so today we did whatever I wanted to do."

"I miss Teddy. But, I'll see him Sunday. And I'll see him at our playdate. And I'll invite him to MY birthday. And I'll see him at other birthday parties....." You bet, Jack.

At home, Jack opened all of the going away presents from his class. First he read all the words on his balloon. "Bye! We'll miss you! Good Luck! Keep in Touch!" He's a good reader. Teddy had made him a picture. Charleigh made him a paper crown. He unwrapped the present from the class. It was a canvas bag which everyone had signed their name to, in different colors.

Lastly, they'd given him the picture of the four of us we'd sent in a couple of years ago, Mommy and Daddy and Jack and Kate, sitting on the porch swing in Vermont. It was laminated and put on construction paper, surrounded by stickers he'd put on. And that was preschool.

Vermont Part 2

- Sunday we slept in, miraculously. It was great. Nana made blueberry pancakes and they were fantastic. Jack could eat blueberries by the basket - did yesterday, in fact - but was lukewarm on having them in his pancakes. Kids.

- While Emmy and I went to Wal-mart, the kids played with Aunt Robin and their cousins. "Splat" was the most popular pursuit, plus they made stuffed animals with a kit. Jack naturally loved Kate's stuffed animals toy. I think whatever was chosen for Kate would have fascinated him more than his own. Just how things go.

- Jack played baseball with Mikey and Baba. I got the idea later that Jack didn't do as well as he'd have liked. We made up for that by playing more later, giving Jack another chance to really hit some. Hard to tell a kid, well, he's 3 years older than you....

- Jack and his cousins went swimming while Kate napped.

- We went up to the Queechee antique mall with a train and merry go round. First we rode the train, which I sometimes think the adults enjoy more than the kids. Although Kate at least wasn't afraid of it by the end and actually opened her eyes and started looking at things. "Bear!"

- After the train, the kids rode these goofy quarter horse rides. Kate liked sitting on them more than riding on them. Jack wanted to ride all of them even though they were all basically the same. Soon the quarters ran out.

- Dinner was fun. They stuck the 11 of us in our own room, wisely. Jack and Kate colored, while Jack gave his order to every employee who walked in our general area: "Pizza and a side of french fries!" He ate well, Kate ate well. One kid had to go to the bathroom, so did the rest. Niamh told a story that cracked up Mikey, and then his laughter cracked the other kids up, and suddenly everyone was losing it. Emily and I watched in mild bafflement as our kids peacefully ate their ice cream for dessert, occasionally laughing or smiling politely at the hilarity.

- At home, everyone was still wired and we hung out in the front yard, near a tree that I remember being planted as just a sapling -- that was now a giant monolith that everyone climbed into. We took picture after picture after picture. Happy kids.

- Played baseball in the yard on Monday. Everyone got a turn to bat. No fights, no bruised feelings. Just six kids and their parents and grandparents, playing baseball.

Vermont

- We picked blueberries in the morning. Kate ate essentially every one she picked. Jack ate most, until we impressed upon him the idea of it being a competition to pick the most blueberries. Then he stopped eating them and tried to find his way onto teams of the best pickers.

- There was a petting zoo. Everyone petted rabbits and cows and sheep. We threw too many quarters into the food dispenser, getting food which the animals would take from the kids' hands unless they nervously dropped it on the ground.

- We went swimming at the Grover's Pool. Jack was fine with the inner tube around his middle; he jumped off the edge of the pool a bit, and swam all around. He gets a little more relaxed every time. One day he's going to toss that inner tube aside. At one point I just picked him up off the edge of the pool and bounced him up in the air. He yelled in laughter and nervousness, kind of a mixed joy and alarm I think.

- Kate was pretty wary of the water, but with the inner tube, she too eventually went in a little, in my arms, bounced up and down in the air. And then she really got into it when we let her on the raft, which was so big that she could spread out on it and still not touch the water. She made herself as flat as possible, fingers and toes stretched toward the corner, chin on the raft. And a big, happy smile on her face.

- We cooked out, on a little Smoky Joe grill I picked up last week. Jack helped me put it together, which I think he was proud of. Kate kind of helped husk corn. Then fell asleep sitting up on the couch next to Abbey. We woke her up for dinner, which was a hit. Mikey said more than once that he "loved" it. Kind of nice. Jack ate every bite of his hotdog, even though like Kate he was kind of zonked out.

We went to bed relatively early.

Beach Day

Went to the beach on Sunday. It was probably about the eighth Sunday we've been to the beach this year. One, the kids seem to love it more each time, and you really can't put a price on that. Two, it's about the only thing we can do that doesn't involve price, which is nice every once in a while. And three, we've kind of got it down to an art form right now.

10:00 a.m. I pack the car in a few minutes. Umbrella, beach chairs, towels, beach toys, sunscreen, change of clothes for the kids, extra swim diaper for Kate, cooler with water, juice, snacks. We throw on our suits and we're off.

10:20. We're there, and we tumble out. Choose a spot, plant the umbrella, lather up the sunscreen. Jack wants to run down to the water. Kate wants to run down to the water. We run down to the water. It's low tide, and you can walk a ways out and it's only up to your knees. So we do. We run and splash in the water for a while. Kate prefers staying close to the beach, but she's getting braver and braver each time we go. Jack sees people way out yet still only waist deep and wants to go. So we do.

11:15. Snacks. This eventually turns into lunch. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is not terribly filling. Our art form has a flaw....need to schedule grocery store trip on Saturdays again.

11:30. Back to the edge of the water, with buckets. We dig in the sand. Make a castle, Kate kicks it over. Make another one, Jack kicks it over. There are lots of obstacles to development in this neighborhood.

11:45. Jack likes to chase seagulls. His little feet pound against the sand as he runs determinedly after them. I have images of gulls, flying away from him, clocking other beach goers. Fortunately, it doesn't happen. Eventually Jack tires of it. We go back in the water and find horseshoe crabs and tiny fish. A seagull divebombs a few feet from us and gets a fish. Jack won't chase that particular one anytime soon.

12 noon. A couple of little boys, in the way only kids can, telepathically invite Jack to play with them. He does. They appear to be throwing a G.I. Joe-like toy up in the air like he's doing surfing tricks, then burying him in the sand. This is fun for them for about 15 minutes, at which point I believe one of the boys no longer wants to share his toy. Everyone goes their separate ways, but Jack remarks, "I made a friend."

12:15. I take Jack to the bathroom. As we walk the 10 minutes or so to the facilities, I debate at what point I can just direct him to a tree or leafy plant somewhere. Maybe next year.

12:30. We return to find Emily and Kate playing in the water. Emily holds Kate's hands and bobs her up and down in the water. Kate, who wouldn't even set foot in the YMCA pool the previous days, screams with laughter. Jack and I play his futile yet still enjoyable game of fighting the waves with punches and kicks. I feel like Mr. Miyagi, with Jack my karate kid using crane technique.

12:45. We're working on teaching Jack to swim, so we hold his hands and get him to kick and float on his stomach. At one point he does a credible dog paddle. Big smile. I hold Kate's hands and walk backward in the water on my knees. She kicks out her legs behind her. Bigger smile. She turns her head to Emily. "Mommy, I swimming!" Pause, smile, laugh. Then: "Mommy, I swimming!!!!!!" She's terribly proud of herself.

1:00. Jack recognizes a little girl from preschool, Harley. I wonder if he's mistaken but nope, she knows him too. They run around playing, which soon turns into filling buckets with water and splashing the monster until he falls underwater, roaring in pain. I get up with difficulty and discreetly cough water out to one side. They bury me in water again. Eventually I'll mind, but it's a pretty hot day.

1:30. Jack and Harley run off back near our towels, playing with the beach toys. I approach to keep an eye on them and Jack says, "Daddy, can you give us privacy?" I thought it would be another 10 years before I heard that from him. I step back a little and sit in the sand, watching them play.

2:00. We're waterlogged and burned, and Kate is starting to get cranky from not napping. Plus she wants to play with Jack's friend, and Jack and Harley don't want her too. I guess this will probably happen a lot in the years to come. She gets upset, we soothe her, and then the ocean and the sun make it all forgotten.

2:15. I load up the car, while the kids relax in a hot mudbath. This is also standard procedure at the beach, because I guess sitting in hot mud makes sense after cooling off, I don't know. We all rinse off one last time and pile into the car to go home.

2:30. Kate sleeps in the car. Jack asks to hear the same Who song from the Boat that Rocked soundtrack again and again and again. One day, perhaps, we'll make it to the Beach Boys song.

Singing Kate

Everything is a song to Kate these days.

"Oscar the grouch....Oscar the grouch...."

"I found my pullup....I found my pullup.....found....my....PULLUP!"

"I want some cantelope....I want some cantelope...."

"That's Jack's bear....that's Jack's bear.....THAT'S.....JACK'S.....

BEAR!"

"I stubbed my toe.....I stubbed my toe......"

sidewalking

Most days I pick the kids up from preschool, and we park in our driveway at home. And most days, they want to go for a walk, and so we do.

We couldn't do this at our old apartment, since we lived on a ridiculously signed intersection, and we didn't have any sidewalks. So this is one of the small but important benefits of our new home.

Part of the appeal is that Jack likes to step on ants and other bugs. Kate has joined him in this exercise. I naturally love all of the earth's creatures, great and small, but you know, he's a 5-year-old boy, and they're bugs. So what are you gonna do.

We walk about half a block, turn, and walk back. We usually see people walking their dogs. Yesterday we met a woman walking a Rescue dog, the friendliest black lab you'll ever meet. Jack is a little wary, but he gradually works up the nerve to pet it. He smiles goofily as he does so.

Kate hangs back, then gets brave as the dog leaves. She steps forward onto the sidewalk (off our lawn) and yells down the street. "Bye, doggie! BYE DOGGIE.....!!!!!!!!"