Breakfast of Champions

With acknowledgment to ESPN's columnist Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy, I'm going to keep a running diary of Jack eating breakfast this morning....

7:23: Jack sees the counter and says "boobies." He is in fact referring to "blueberries." We bring him a plate of blueberries and sit him in chair. He begins to shovel them in by the fistful.

7:25: Plate cleaned, he says "more boobies! more boobies!" He holds his plate up. Mommy brings him the entire container of blueberries. "Giving them to him piecemeal just creates more work for me," she explains. Jack says "thank you."

7:27: Jack has transferred all the blueberries onto his plate and hands me the empty package. "Blueberries" -- he's got the "L" in there all of a sudden -- "all gone."

7:30: Jack asks for "more milk" with a full glass of milk in front of him. I point it out, and he drinks from it.

7:32: Blueberries mostly gone, I suggest we bring coffee cake. Mommy has divided it up into three pieces. Jack takes two for himself, gives me one, and then takes the third piece for himself, too. Then gives it back: "Here, Daddy." Thanks, Jack.

7:33: Jack points at my coffee. "MY toffee!" No, I say, that's Daddy's coffee. "MY toffee!" But he's smiling, this is kind of a game.

7:34: "Can I have a bite of coffee cake?" says Mommy. First Jack says "No," then gives her a bite. Then he starts stacking it up next to me. He's not really into coffee cake these days. We won't buy it again for a while.

7:35: Jack points at the floor. "OTHER BLUEBERRIES! OTHER BLUEBERRIES!" He's correct, there's a blueberry on the floor. I pick it up, wash it off, give it to him.

7:37: Jack begins singing twinkle twinkle little star, kind of. "Enh enh kl inna ty! ly a dime en inna ty!"

7:38: Jack makes monkey noises. Halloween is going to be great. Then he says, "Monkey sounds."

7:39: Jack starts stacking his coffee cake fragments, saying, "Tower!" The playing with the food portion of the meal has begun. Mommy brings cereal. "Thank you" he says. Thank you, Mommy.

7:41: Jack eats his cereal piece by piece. Then begins using the spoon to spoon milk onto his coffee cake. Somebody filled up on blueberries.

7:42: He begins naming the Backyardigans characters on his bandaid for his arm ow-ey. "Tyrone....Austin...." Great show, although Jack gets a little obsessive about his bandaids.

7:45: Done eating, Jack begins playing with the blueberry package. Knew I should have thrown that thing away.

7:46: "Mommy sit bucket. Mommy sit bucket." There's a bucket in the corner of the kitchen to be returned to Cathy and Jack wants Mommy to sit there. Mommy: I don't think I feel comfortable about sitting on a bucket. Jack then points to the open chair: "Mommy sit."

7:47: Jack is eating cereal by hand, interested in his food again. Mommy asks why he's not using a spoon. Jack begins to slowly use a spoon, watching Mommy all the time. Very good Jack, says Mommy. "Thank you," says Jack.

7:48: Jack notices the tree outside the window. "Bird?" And then "No bird." And then "bird ... HOME!" And then, with a point for emphasis, "bird ... DOWN!" followed by "bird, high tree." and "bird, round and round."

7:50: Jack is spilling a lot of milk as he eats cereal.

7:52: He starts putting cereal from his plate into his bowl. "Two...free....four! One...two...free....four!" Milk is splashing. Now he starts drinking the rest of his cereal milk from the bowl. Breakfast just about better be over. (Nod to the old Saturday Night Live talk show skit, where things start to get out of hand, and the Bill Murray host says "Well, we'd better run out of time....")

7:55: Jack says "All done. All done!" And so we are.