I'm Batman

So I kind of like superheroes and comic books. Have for a while. We all have our weaknesses. So, when we went shopping to Old Navy and Carter's in Stamford today, I brought the kids to the comic book store. Which is to say, while Emily went to the stores to shop for clothes for everyone, I pushed sleeping Kate in the stroller and half walked with, half carried Jack (When he gets tired he stops and holds his arms up to me: "Carry!") the two blocks or so to the store.

Ran over a couple of guys' feet on the way into the store with the stroller. Doorway is a bit narrow. We get inside, I exchange pleasantries with the owner, Jack says, "What's THAT? What's THAT, Daddy? Why is that back there? What is that DOING there?" And I live in fear that he's going to grab something valuable, destroy it, and he'll have the world's most expensive coloring book.

Anyway. In the store, Kate woke up and started wailing, which made sense; she's a girl, and there's not a lot of female energy in most comic stores. I actually had wanted to find a Daredevil action figure for Mikey, my nephew (I'll keep looking, Robin), but couldn't, but in the clearance rack there was a Batman figure, which caught both my eye, and Jack's. So yeah, we bought him. And Jack carried him around in his box for the rest of the excursion, into the other stores, and meeting up with Emily, and back home. And at home we got him out of the box, and played with him and The Flash together. This is really the best part -- Jack had Batman, who had a cape, and figured he flies, so he goes, "And he FLIES at the Flash!" and kind of holds him aloft. And I said, well, really, he kind of uses his cape to glide. And Jack says, "Oh." And then, regarding The Flash: "But him doesn't fly. Right?" And I said, no, he just runs really fast. And then Jack grabs the Batman and says "Oh no, he's chasing me, he's chasing me!" And I ran after him with the Flash, saying, I'm going to catch you! And we ran around the downstairs for about five minutes, living room, kitchen, dining room, hallway, living room. Etc.

Later that evening, shortly before bed, Batman was missing. And I asked Jack where he was, and Jack didn't know. And we looked a bit, and then I remembered that Jack had brought him outside with us at one point. We'd gone to get the mail, and we'd gone in the backyard to grill a steak in the evening. And of course, it's dark now. But I said to Jack, did you leave Batman in the yard? And he said no.

But Batman still didn't turn up, and while Jack was taking his bath, I said to him, are you SURE you didn't leave Batman outside? And he said no, but didn't sound convincing. And I said, well, maybe that's where he is, huh? And Jack said, maybe. And I said, well, after your bath, I'm going to go out and look for him, because we can't leave him out there. And Jack said, Why? And I said, well, he'll be lonely in the dark. And Jack said, why will he be lonely? (Silly me, I figured that explanation would make sense to him, but it didn't.) So I said, well, actually, we just can't leave toys outside. Another kid could find him, or a dog or something.

Now, THIS made sense to Jack. "Yeah! A dog could find him. And he could BITE him! Or another kid could take him. Don't do that! Don't take him or, or BITE him!" So we were in agreement that I had to go out to get Batman.

You can probably guess the rest. I went outside in the pitch dark with a little lantern light and walked around for 10 minutes, expecting to find Batman at best and dog poop or half-eaten animals or something or whatever at worst. But instead I found nothing. Went back inside and told Jack I couldn't find him but I'd keep looking. And then I put Jack to bed and spent another 15 minutes outside, walking up and down the yard, in the dark, looking for Batman. And I realized that me in the dark with a flashlight on a manhunt -- a Batmanhunt -- well, I was Batman, really.

Later that evening, I found Batman, inside, sitting in plain sight on the sideboard next to the dining room table.