Distracted

Sometimes it's hard to concentrate. Like today, we're getting ready for a trip to Ireland, and I felt like I had all this stuff to do and was kind of stressed about the whole thing. We haven't flown in about 2 1/2 years. Haven't traveled with two kids, ever. Just seems like so much to pack, so much to organize, so much to make sure we didn't forget.

So I had the kids home today, but I couldn't really enjoy it. I was thinking about other things, and I was tired, and stressed, and I didn't want to play or sit still. So I didn't much. In the morning they watched too much TV. In the afternoon, when Kate was napping. I played a little with Jack -- he beat me at Candyland five straight times -- but couldn't really focus. Played with his castle a little bit, admired a couple of frankly amazing pictures he drew, but wasn't all the way there.

And then the hours had ticked away and Emily was home and we ate dinner and played hide and seek (pretty much an every night thing these days) and put the kids to bed, finished packing, checked all the luggage, had a glass of wine, watched a little TV, and here I am. Feeling bad that I didn't spend as much time with my kids today, wasn't all the way there even though I was HERE.

I'm very lucky and today I didn't appreciate it and it's not the first time and it won't be the last, but tonight I feel bad about it so I'm looking forward to vacation, because I'm going to make the most of it with my family.