school trouble

It was a rough week for Jack, and us, hearing that he supposedly called another boy a name (he says he didn't, and we pretty much believe him), then getting in trouble for, I guess, telling knock knock jokes while lining up for recess with a friend and using a word he shouldn't have. That incident got him a "warning" because apparently there was another occurrence, totally accidental, where he brought a dot to dot book to school, and a pencil, and accidentally poked a friend with the pencil. He told me about that one and was kind of confused it was an issue. "I turned to talk to Peter and was holding the pencil and Jenna got poked."

He's a 7-year-old boy; I kind of figured I had a few years before I'd need to be worried about him getting in trouble in school. So we gave him the lecture about not wanting to hear any more of this kind of thing, and punished him, and said, you know, you could get suspended. And he was in tears, lamenting he was going to have to get through the whole year without doing anything wrong. And it's sort of like, well, yeah, I guess that's true. So I guess I won't be letting him bring a dot to dot book to school, and he'd better not be laughing at or repeating jokes that are pretty much created with 7-year-old boys in mind.

The funny thing is that -- while conceding I have a bias here -- I don't know any better kids than him. Happy, funny, likes everyone, gets along with everyone. (Near as I can tell, I'm not actually there at recess.) Every day do I need to worry about him getting in trouble for something or other? Again, I just figured it was a ways in the future, if ever.

He was in tears at the idea that somebody thought he'd called them a name ("If people think I said that they won't want to be friends with me!") and at the thought he might get suspended. Scared. Which makes sense; he likes school, likes reading, likes the work, likes his friends and teachers.

I feel bad for Jack, and I wonder what's true and what isn't, and what needs to change. I wonder what the next thing I'm going to hear is. And I hope -- that it will stop, that it's nothing, that he'll feel better in the morning. And when I can relax and not worry about stuff like this, and realize as I write this that the answer is probably, uh, never, or at least not for very long.