Singing Jack

Jack sings himself to sleep sometimes, either when we put him to bed, or when he wakes up early. Some recent favorites follow. It's important to imagine his little voice piping up, occasionally scratchy, occasionally loud and boisterous or high-pitched.

"B...I...B...L...E... Yes that's the book for me...." (A song his Grandma sings to him.)

"Drumming.... Drumming... Drumming...." (A Backyardigans song.)

"Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells....Jingle.... All Da Way....Jingle Bells...."

"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Rein-DEER!!!! Has a .... shiny ....Nose!"

"Santa Claus...... Is. Coming.....Town!"

I imagine we'll still be singing Christmas Carols come June, although I can hope.

Jack's Christmas

I went in to get Jack, while Emmy went downstairs to turn on the tree lights, the Santa and the Sleigh outdoor display (which I of course hooked up inside, since we live over our garage and I don't don't have a ladder), and all the other various lights I connected to set the scene. And make coffee, seeing as it was 6:15 a.m. and all. As I brought him downstairs, I explained to him that Santa had come last night and brought presents. "Yeahh..!" he said. "Santa!"

I set him down at the bottom of the stairs and he headed for the living room. Santa had thoughtfully taken the train tracks out of their box, set them up, and added all the various features -- tree, Sir Topham Hatt, trains, stop sign. Jack went right to it, oblivious to all the new presents underneath the tree and his other unwrapped gift, a musical band box with different instruments. "Trains!" He spent the next 10 minutes or so playing with those, while Emmy and I slugged down coffee. Then we each opened a present, and introduced Jack to his band box. He showed some interest in the various things, of course particularly in the ones that make the most noise, and then returned to his trains.

Then chaos set in. Ian, Cathy, and the rest of the Rosenfelds -- Reanna, Lyndsay, Stacey -- came over, and the girls were immediately at the tree. I think I blinked and in that time all the presents had been distributed by the twins, there was a flurry of paper in the air, and suddenly everything was open and it was impossible to walk anywhere. Jack played with their toys, they played with Jack's toys, I spent some time trying to open this realistic looking monkey that made noises and said ooh ooh ah ah and so forth, finally got it open, and gradually came to feel it wasn't quite as frightening as I thought initially. Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Linda were on hand as well, and there was much in the way of food, hors douvres (probably misspelled), drink, all that stuff. Ian set up the Mousetrap game we'd given Reanna, which was great fun for everyone, including Jack, who had little interest in the game but liked making the ball-bearing roll down the staircase.

At some point we let Jack go upstairs with his cousins, and they were going to color with markers. I'm not sure I need to explain where this plan went awry, but merely telling the twins to make sure Jack only colored on the paper was, of course, not good enough. No, instead they came down and notified us that Jack had started coloring all over his rug, rocking chair, etc. And so he had. I'm well aware that he'll do worse in the future so I won't complain too much.

A good dinner was had by all, nice work Emmy, and more playing with toys occurred. One of the twins -- no, I can never really tell, I try, but what can I say -- had some fun with Jack's Backyardigans Colorforms set, creating quite a nice scene with all of them in their pirate uniforms and so forth. I played with a wooden car Jack got that had some very cool craftsmanship. And read Jack some of his new books, including one with pigs and Dragon's Merry Christmas, which he showed his appreciation for by saying "Again."

His favorite toys -- on that certain day, but it changes a lot -- were a bucket of plastic food and a wooden crate of plastic fruit. And a plastic pizza. I don't know that I really understand why kids like imitation food, but the Rosenfeld girls do and so does Jack. He made me a waffle and pizza sandwich, which I pretended to eat, and then he cut slices of his little plastic pizza, and we ate those. "Here, Daddy," he'd say, with the same tone he'd use when handing me a apple skin after he'd eaten the apple out of it. "Here, Daddy."

I put him to bed that night by reading him his new books, and singing him his favorite songs (Rudolph, Frosty, Santa, Twinkle Twinkle, Edelweiss), and letting myself out of the room. Down to the living room and the Christmas Tree and Emmy and a glass of wine, and the knowledge that it would be Christmas again some time, and maybe next year it would seem to move more in slow motion, rather than in fast-forward, like far too many things with Jack tend to do.

"How was your day, good?"

Jack talks a lot, as I believe I've mentioned before. One of the recent fun things is him coming up to me in the afternoons or evenings, all serious, and saying "How was your day, good?" There's only a slight pause there; he's answering for me. Almost as if he believes "good" is part of the question, rather than the answer. I tell him, and then I ask him how his day was, and he says good. And sometimes I get details, and sometimes I don't. Frequently the details don't make sense. He'll say "Teddy and Jared," who go to daycare with him, but beyond that, I don't know what they actually did, just that they were there. Or that he is happening to mention their names.

He likes to have me draw things on his doodle board, this magnetic art board. Lately's it's "Frosty and Santa and the Christmas tree." I'll draw Santa, and he'll say "And now Frosty." And I'll draw Frosty, and he'll smile a little wider, and then he'll say "And the Christmas Tree."

His favorite books right now are a few he got up in Vermont at an early Christmas up there. "Are you my mother," by Dr. Seuss; "Carl's Christmas"; "If you're happy and you know it," and "Over in the Meadow." We read all four of them, every night. I make up different dialogue for the Carl book, since it's mostly pictures of a dog taking a baby out on the town, which doesn't seem safe, but anyway. The Dr. Seuss book is a riot, the other books are fun. Jack claps his hands and stamps his feet, he says "Oh no!" in the Dr. Seuss book when the baby bird gets picked up by the Snort, and is happy when he's back in the nest and sees his Mommy.

He walks around with two wooden ornaments on his wrists, one a train, the other a truck. I put them back on the tree, but he keeps managing to get them off, and they're back on his wrists.

Yesterday we were looking at Christmas decorations. He said, what's that, and I said, that's Santa in his sleigh, he said, oh, and then we looked at Frosty.

Jack: "Where's Frosty's sleigh?"

Daddy Sing a Song, and more

Putting Jack to bed is occasionally challenging, because we aren't always good about keeping to a routine, and since we both enjoy doing it we go back and forth, and on and on. Sometimes we put him down and he wails, but rather than a vague, frustrated wail, it's usually something specific, like

"Daddy sing a song!"

I'm not a particularly good singer; I'm sure most would agree. But Jack, because he's young and inexperienced, enjoys my warbling attempt at Edelweiss, and now Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. So sometimes it's "Daddy sing Edelweiss," and other times, "Daddy sing Rudolph!" (On the particularly bad nights, he'll want me to sing a song, and THEN he'll want Mommy to sing a song...we try to avoid those ones.)

Anyway, there's something very heartening about his little voice piping up "Daddy sing a song," or, as I'm bringing him upstairs to bed, "Sing a song?" And better yet, he chimes in, singing along to Edelweiss ("bloom.....an grow.....for-ev...er...." "you.... happy .... meet me....") Frequently as the song ends, he says, "Again?" And we go again.

What's amazing is that he already knows a surprising number of the words to Rudolph. Tonight I heard him singing it with his Mommy: "hadda very sy-nee nose... AND if ever saw it...."

Good stuff. As of yet, I'm not tired of singing those songs over and over to him. Not sure I ever will be.

PRE-CHRISTMAS

Jack's getting into Christmas. It's quite amusing, that he used to fear Santa, and maybe still does, but he also loves pictures of him, and Rudolph, and Frosty the Snowman. He has a couple of little toys, a little wind-up Santa and Frosty that we've had for years, that he's fascinated with. We have a couple of window decorations that he takes out of the windows and carries around the house; they're of Santa and Frosty, and he likes to lay them down, pretend they're sleeping, whatever. He stacks them up into a tower ("Tower of Power," he calls it, a Backyardigans reference), plays with them, says they're "friends." He has a Santa hat he occasionally puts on and walks around wearing; it's big and slips over his eyes, and so he walks a little slower.

He points to snowman and Santa ornaments on the tree; points out pictures in his Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer book (his current favorite book); brings me his drawing board and wants me to draw pictures of "Rudolph, Santa, Frosty, and the Christmas tree." I think everyone in the family down here has read him the Rudolph book.

(At this point I should mention that last week we went to the Greenwich tree lighting, and there was a person in a Rudolph costume there. This is before I'd got him the book. Jack was transfixed; we went up near him and I put Jack down, and Rudolph's elf helper said, "Do you want to hug Rudolph?" Jack did a little half nod and threw out his arms and went up to Rudolph and gave him a big hug. It was classic.)

One final Jack thing, not necessarily Christmas related. Last night we were sitting in the living room near the tree, and Jack started bringing us his toys. "Hold. Hold, Daddy." And then he started bringing us our shoes. And our jackets. And then he came in clutching the two basketballs we use for his hoop outside. So we're sitting there in a pile of stuff, and he's like "Be right back," and he'd come in with yet another item. Just funny.

I'm sure there are other recent things I don't want to forget -- like when he saw a picture of himself from the zoo and he said "I'm at the zoo," even though there was nothing in the picture to indicate it was at the zoo. Like when his grandma was cracking him up by saying "gook," in reference to food on his cup. And things I can't even remember, sadly, which means I really need to write this blog more than once a week.

He's a great little guy.

Nice!

Jack and I went out Christmas shopping today. Christmas decorations shopping, really. Jack has kind of a love-fear relationship with Santa. He was afraid of Santa last year, when we tried to get his picture taken, an incident that was probably partially our fault. He just wasn't ready. Now we've talked up Santa, and our neighbor -- who had a huge inflatable pumpkin at Halloween, a huge inflatable turkey at Thanksgiving, and now a huge inflatable Frosty the Snowman, Christmas tree, and Santa Claus on his lawn -- has this big Santa that Jack is fascinated by.

So we went to Party City and bought a stuffed Santa for Jack, a Santa hat, and a series of window decorations -- Santa Claus, Frosty, reindeer pulling a sleigh. Jack approved and was very attentive as the clerk put them in the bag.

On the way home we went over to Aunt Cathy's, and I brought Jack inside, but he was very out of sorts, and kept saying things like "On floor" and "Santa," and it was all fairly confusing. But gradually we figured out he wanted to go back out to the car, where the bag of stuff was indeed, on the floor, and I got everything out and he clutched it all to his chest and under his chin and we went back inside. And showed things individually to Cathy, and Jack of course wanted to wear the hat, and hold the stuffed Santa. At some point I held up the window decoration Frosty, and Jack looked at it and smiled like it was the greatest thing in the world.

Jack, as he saw it: "Oh! NICE!!!!"

"Hold you."

Somewhere along the line Jack started expressing himself in complete sentences. And here some of them are.

"I need some more milk." (This is usually expressed with urgency, as if he's dying of thirst and only milk can save him.)

"I need some water." (This tends to be matter of fact, like, hey, I need some water, would you mind?)

"Hold you." Jack has figured out that being carried up and down stairs is easier and faster than actually walking up and down them himself. We may have to work on that in the future.

"Next to you." Jack either is or wants to sit next to you. Variations include "Next to Mommy" and "Next to Daddy."

"What's THAT?" (Explanation follow, e.g., that's a hat, or that's Daddy's coffee, followed by "OHHH!")

"Do puzzle." (Let's do the puzzle.)

"Can't reach it." "Too big." "Heavy." "Happy." "Too fit." Okay, these aren't sentences, but I wanted to write them down anyway.

He's been singing a lot. Verses of songs. "Twinkle, twinkle, little star....How... wonder what you are Up above world so high like ...diamond ...in the sky." And: "Shake .... shake... shake...shake your body." (From the Backyardigans CD.) "Wiggle it. Wobble it. Wiggle it." He still sings Edelweiss with me. "Bloom and grow.... forever... Edelweiss..." And: "I like this song." Me: "You like this song?" Jack: "Yeah!" Although it's partly a question. "Yeah!?"

Sometimes when he's talking he's just happy, other times he's earnest, solemn. Like what he's saying is very important. "No... Daddy sit there." "I need some milk." So on and so forth.

As always, I forget things. There's just too much good stuff in the average day, average week, with Jack, to remember it all. Him running around the park, like yesterday, happily going up and down slides. (Until he'd had enough, of course, at which point it becomes "All finished." And this, too, has urgency, as if to say, I don't want to be on this teeter totter another moment, thank you.

So I keep writing it down, in hopes I'll remember it always.

Thankful

My parents came down for Thanksgiving, and the best thing about it, aside from seeing them and stuff, was that Jack pretty much acted like he'd known them his entire life. He called them Nana and Baba, which is what their Irish grandchildren call them and we've encouraged it both for consistency and to distinguish them from his grandparents on Emily's side. He hugged them good night, they read stories together -- I came out into the living room and my Dad was reading "Thomas the Tank Engine - Thomas helps out" while Jack sat next to him in rapt attention. Dad's got a great reading voice, always did. Soothing. I pretty much just stood there watching for 5 minutes...I could have stayed longer.

Jack looked at pictures and pointed out Nana, Baba, and Aunt Robin, who will be here early in the New Year. In the morning he asked where Nana and Baba were. Two days after they'd gone, today, he said "Nana and Baba go home?" which we had explained to him the previous day.

At Thanksgiving Dinner, at Aunt Cathy's, there were about 18 people, and us, and Jack. And it was quite a change, seeing as in Colorado it was usually us and at most a guest or two - relatives, or a work friend. Certainly not that much family. And Jack was happy.

And even though we've got some stresses and worries and still haven't sold our house and are still trying to adapt fully to our new lives, Jack is happy. And we're thankful for that.

Up and Down Jack

I think sometimes we forget how much Jack has been through. Our move across the country was tough on us, but it was even tougher on him, and not because I made him drive (I thought about it) or handle setting up utilities and stuff. (The only thing he says into the phone is "Hi Ekan" and "Hi Grandpa.")

It was tough on Jack because we couldn't fully explain why suddenly he had a brand new room in a brand new house -- temporarily a basement at Aunt Cathy's, then our new rental house here. Why he was being taken out of day care in Colorado, and away from places he was used to going like Benny's and Hanson's. Okay, that might be stuff we miss more than he does, but the point is that there was a routine, it was everything he knew, and it was taken away, and we really couldn't explain it.

I mention this now because Jack had a very tough time at his new day care this past week. He cried when we dropped him off, he cried off and on in the morning, and we were told he cried at other times, and walked around saying "Daddy? Mommy?" Tough to think about, tough to write, and tough because we have to make day care work -- I can't really do my job otherwise -- so we'll be taking him again on Monday morning, and it will probably be hard all over again. So he didn't have a good time at day care, and (perhaps related) he wasn't his happy self most of the week, and he had one just awful night, Thursday, where we were all basically awake from midnight until 4 a.m., trying to soothe him, trying to let him cry it out, trying to sleep ... it was terrible.

The tough thing (among others) is you have to keep telling him how great it is, because it will be, once he gets accustomed to it. They do fun things, they run around, they go down slides in the indoor gym, he makes little friends, so on and so forth. And we need to tell him how great it is while knowing that right now he doesn't really want to be apart from any of us, and so he can't view it as a positive when his first thought is "Where Daddy go? Where Mommy go?" Yeah, it's brutal.

We forget how hard it is, because he is very resilient. As he has proved over the past two days, when he's been his happy self again. This morning we went swimming, and then he went to feed ducks with Grandpa, and apparently he played in leaves, and he came back and was happy, smiling, as happy as he's ever been. Doing all of his little cute things, sitting next to me on the couch and saying "Next to YOU!" And picking up the phone and saying "Hi Grandpa!" even though there's no one on the line, and when we DO have Grandpa on the phone, and put it next to his ear, he tends to say nothing at all, just listens and smiles. And he says "Thank you," in the cutest, sweetest little voice imaginable, and "Do puzzle, Daddy." And we go down in the driveway to play basketball, and he runs around with the happiest smile on his face, bubbling with laughter. It's the same after swimming, when we shower (we do this together, he enjoys it) -- he just laughs up a storm at the water pitter-pattering on his back.

I guess the point is that we forget sometimes that Jack's not always happy, and the hard part is that sometimes we need to do things that he's not going to be happy about. It's hard to do, and hard to live with. We just hope that some of them become things he is happy about, and we can make it work. Even if it's going to be really hard to get there.

Other Face

Quick one because I'm tired, but I don't want to forget it.

Jack generally wakes up in the mornings in good spirits -- not always, but generally. He'll be in his crib, taking time occasionally to liberate all of his stuffed animals, and he'll be kind of talking, babbling, and sometimes singing.

Grandma Pat sings to him, when she's putting him down for naps or just busying about the kitchen, and one of the songs she sings, when she's giving him food, say, grapes, is "I...love...grapes...They taste good....I love grapes....They taste good." And Jack occasionally sings it too.

The other morning I could hear him in his crib, singing, singing that song, but rather than a food item, he was including all the people he sees on a regular basis. And so: "I ... love... Aunt Taffy....They taste good. I love Daddy. They taste good. I love Mommy. They...." And there'd be a pause before the name, so it was "I..love... Aunt Taffy. They taste good." And he'd run through almost everyone he knows. "I love Lyndsay. They taste good...." Cracked me up.

The other thing is that Jack likes to hug and kiss us goodnight, which is quite nice, but then lately he's started doing this kiss on each cheek thing, like we're European or something. I crouch down and he kisses one cheek, then moves over and kisses my other cheek. And tonight he added "Other face!" to his routine, so he'd kiss my cheek, say "Other face!" and move my head so he could kiss my other cheek.

And then he'd run off into the next room so Mommy could put him to bed.

"Whuhs Dis, Daddy?"

Jack is quite chatty, and inquisitive, and it's hilarious. So here's the talking-themed blog.

SUPERHEROES

I have this T-shirt that has images of Marvel Comics' "Avengers" on the front - The Hulk, Iron Man, Thor, Giant Man, and the Wasp. The original team, of course, because I'm old school. Anyway. Jack was kind of intrigued by it when he was a baby - he'd pull at it and grab it, and I used to not understand it until gradually I figured out he was trying to grab the figures on the shirt.

I don't wear it a lot, but I wore it yesterday, and Jack, sitting on my lap, started pointing at all the figures. "Whuhs dis, Daddy?" He asked, pointing at the Hulk. "That's the Hulk," I said. "He's a cartoon character, like the Backyardigans." "Whuhs dis, Daddy?" He points at another character. "That's Iron Man." "Whuhs dis, Daddy?" "That's Giant Man." And so on until we've run through all five characters. But Jack's not done. "Whuhs dis, Daddy?" "Um...that's the Hulk again." "Whuhs dis Daddy?" "That's Iron Ma--" (Before I can finish answering) "Whuhs dis Daddy?" "That's Giant--" "Whuhs dis....."

This goes on until we've run through all the characters 3 or 4 times. Apparently satisfied, he moves on to something else, but about 10 minutes later, he's at my side pointing at my shirt. "Whuhs dis, Daddy?" "That's the Hulk, Jack." "Tha Hulk," he says. "Whuhs dis?" "That's Iron Man." Jack says, "Ion Man." Then we go through all the characters, some whose names he pronounces, some about whom he says "Whuhs dis?"

So basically, I will probably wear the shirt more often from now on.

PUMPKINS

I carved our pumpkin last night. Jack was fascinated. At first he wanted to put the nose piece back in where I'd cut it out of ("Back on! Back on!"). Then he figured it out (once I lit it up), and he began saying "big pumpkin....pumpkin lights...BIG pumpkin..." Later, he moved the similarly sized plastic pumpkin with the classic black triangle eyes and nose (used to carry Halloween candy around) over next to the carved pumpkin. "Friends," he said. "Friends." He nodded approvingly at his work.

SINGING

Jack sings a couple of TV show theme songs. (We only let him watch a couple, honest, and they're great. The Backyardigans, by far the best kids show on TV, and Wonder Pets. That one he started watching with his Grandma, but I admit it's kind of charming, and it's all about teamwork and stuff...whatever. The animals are cute too.) "Baccckkkk wif your friends ... the Back. Yard. Agains!" and "Wonder Pets, Wonder Pets, OnnOURway! Wonder Pets, Wonder Pets, save thuh day!" He sings Edelweiss with me when I put him to bed, and he also sings, sometimes, "Twinkle twinkle Litt-uhl Star!"

TRAINS

Jack plays with his trains, which are from the "Thomas the Tank Engine" series. As far as I know he's never seen the show. But they all have names, and he can recite them (he has one of the books which we read together). "Thom-as....Top-pam...Hat...Har-vey....Thom-as...."

LAUGHING

I like to lift Jack up and hold him (carefully!) upside down. He screams with laughter. As I ease him down, he says "Das fonneeee! Das fonneeee!" And laughs and laughs.

RELATIVES

Jack picks up the phone and says "Eekan!" (Uncle Ian.) "Aunt Taffy!" (Aunt Cathy.) There's a knock at his door and he says "Damma!" (Grandma.) Or "Dampa!" (Grandpa.) When he comes down from a nap and somebody who was here when he went to sleep is gone, it's "Where Mommy go?" or "Where Damma go?" Sometimes he wakes up and just chants: "Linsey tacey ranna (Lyndsay, Stacey, Reanna) ... Linsey tacey ranna ... "

DANCING

He likes to dance, a kind of shuffling, stomping, spinning around dance that I dearly hope he just came to naturally, as opposed to learning from watching one of us stumble around. I hope. Still, it's hilarious to watch him do it. And always smiling.

And there's more, but I can't think of it right now. Which is a shame.

You know why I have to write all this stuff down? Because I forget it. For everything I write down here within a day or two after it happens, there are probably a dozen or more things that I forget.

I just hope that I remember most of it, because it's too good not to. I don't ever want to forget it. I know I'll lose some, but if I can always remember him putting that plastic pumpkin next to the glowing carved pumpkin and saying "Friends," that'll be something.

Edelweiss

Is that even the right spelling? I don't even know. But that's the song I've been singing to Jack as I put him to bed these days. Badly, of course...I only know a few of the lyrics, and I tend to repeat them, and just kind of muddle through.

Anyway, today Jack started singing along with me. Head on my shoulder, hopefully near sleep, he joined in: "ayyydle-vyse...ayydle-vyse.....you....happy....geet....me...."

A nice moment.

Breakfast of Champions

With acknowledgment to ESPN's columnist Bill Simmons, The Sports Guy, I'm going to keep a running diary of Jack eating breakfast this morning....

7:23: Jack sees the counter and says "boobies." He is in fact referring to "blueberries." We bring him a plate of blueberries and sit him in chair. He begins to shovel them in by the fistful.

7:25: Plate cleaned, he says "more boobies! more boobies!" He holds his plate up. Mommy brings him the entire container of blueberries. "Giving them to him piecemeal just creates more work for me," she explains. Jack says "thank you."

7:27: Jack has transferred all the blueberries onto his plate and hands me the empty package. "Blueberries" -- he's got the "L" in there all of a sudden -- "all gone."

7:30: Jack asks for "more milk" with a full glass of milk in front of him. I point it out, and he drinks from it.

7:32: Blueberries mostly gone, I suggest we bring coffee cake. Mommy has divided it up into three pieces. Jack takes two for himself, gives me one, and then takes the third piece for himself, too. Then gives it back: "Here, Daddy." Thanks, Jack.

7:33: Jack points at my coffee. "MY toffee!" No, I say, that's Daddy's coffee. "MY toffee!" But he's smiling, this is kind of a game.

7:34: "Can I have a bite of coffee cake?" says Mommy. First Jack says "No," then gives her a bite. Then he starts stacking it up next to me. He's not really into coffee cake these days. We won't buy it again for a while.

7:35: Jack points at the floor. "OTHER BLUEBERRIES! OTHER BLUEBERRIES!" He's correct, there's a blueberry on the floor. I pick it up, wash it off, give it to him.

7:37: Jack begins singing twinkle twinkle little star, kind of. "Enh enh kl inna ty! ly a dime en inna ty!"

7:38: Jack makes monkey noises. Halloween is going to be great. Then he says, "Monkey sounds."

7:39: Jack starts stacking his coffee cake fragments, saying, "Tower!" The playing with the food portion of the meal has begun. Mommy brings cereal. "Thank you" he says. Thank you, Mommy.

7:41: Jack eats his cereal piece by piece. Then begins using the spoon to spoon milk onto his coffee cake. Somebody filled up on blueberries.

7:42: He begins naming the Backyardigans characters on his bandaid for his arm ow-ey. "Tyrone....Austin...." Great show, although Jack gets a little obsessive about his bandaids.

7:45: Done eating, Jack begins playing with the blueberry package. Knew I should have thrown that thing away.

7:46: "Mommy sit bucket. Mommy sit bucket." There's a bucket in the corner of the kitchen to be returned to Cathy and Jack wants Mommy to sit there. Mommy: I don't think I feel comfortable about sitting on a bucket. Jack then points to the open chair: "Mommy sit."

7:47: Jack is eating cereal by hand, interested in his food again. Mommy asks why he's not using a spoon. Jack begins to slowly use a spoon, watching Mommy all the time. Very good Jack, says Mommy. "Thank you," says Jack.

7:48: Jack notices the tree outside the window. "Bird?" And then "No bird." And then "bird ... HOME!" And then, with a point for emphasis, "bird ... DOWN!" followed by "bird, high tree." and "bird, round and round."

7:50: Jack is spilling a lot of milk as he eats cereal.

7:52: He starts putting cereal from his plate into his bowl. "Two...free....four! One...two...free....four!" Milk is splashing. Now he starts drinking the rest of his cereal milk from the bowl. Breakfast just about better be over. (Nod to the old Saturday Night Live talk show skit, where things start to get out of hand, and the Bill Murray host says "Well, we'd better run out of time....")

7:55: Jack says "All done. All done!" And so we are.

"Dass fonnee!"

So I'm in Connecticut now, at least until I drive to the end of the street or so, at which point I'm in New York. And we don't have our furniture yet, which is kind of a shame, but there are worse things.

The important thing is that the family is together again, which means that I can write about Jack again, because after all I am in fact changing diapers. And on a side note, let me just say it's great when I've buttoned him into his sleeper and am about ready to put him in his crib when he suddenly says, "Poop again," and I say, are you poopy?, and he says, "Yah!" And so he is.

The best thing about seeing Jack here is that he's really happy. I think he was pretty happy in Colorado, but clearly he loves his Grandma (he wakes up from naps now calling not for Daddy but for Grandma - excellent), his Grandpa (who takes him to feed the ducks on Sundays), loves his cousins ("Ranna? Lidsdy? Tacey?"), loves "Uncle Ekan" and "Aunt Taffy" -- for the uninformed that's Reanna, Lindsay, Stacey, Ian, and Cathy -- and loves his family. We drive down the road and he says "Aunt Taffy's house?", he calls for Grandma sometimes, and when he talks in a half-awake state he sometimes runs through all the names he can remember, which includes everyone here and sometimes "Baba" (Grandpa) and "Neve!" (Niamh) And I think, living here, he'll get to know all the rest of those relatives pretty well, too.

And since he is happy, he laughs a lot, and he's now at the point where he announces his feelings on these things. And everything, really. "New house!" and "Big pumpkin" have been popular observations in the week I've been here, as has "Dass Fonnee!" with a big grin, also known as "That's funny!" Or occasionally, if we dare to presume that something is funny that he himself isn't sure about, it becomes "Not fonnee," which he expresses by shaking his head and looking serious.

He runs about the house and plays with his school bus ("My buhs!"), he asks for his milk ("My milk!") and shows an interest in Daddy's coffee ("My coffee!"). No, I tell him, my coffee. He laughs and says "My coffee," and then, "Daddy coffee."

Today we went to get pumpkins at a nearby pumpkin patch, and he walked around amidst them saying "more pumpkins" and "big pumpkins" and all that. He had some pretty strong opinions about them: I'd point one out and he'd say "No," and shake his head, or "Yuh," and we'd either take it, or I'd rule it out - a bad spot, or mushy, or what have you. And in the car on the way back he'd say "My pumpkin," and I didn't dispute it, just smiled, because like everything it was, in fact, for him.

"MY DADDEEE!"

Gak! It's been almost a month since my last blog entry.

I've got an excuse though. I wasn't changing any diapers for a couple of weeks because Jack was in New York with his Mommy and I was in Denver. This real dad was real lonely, packing up our lives in Denver while Emily started her new job and Jack got to know his cousins and maternal grandparents.

I couldn't believe how much I missed him. I mean, I knew how much I'd miss him, but I didn't realize how bad it would feel. I didn't care about the house, about showering and shaving regularly -- OK, wait a minute, I don't care about that stuff as much as I probably need to anyway -- I didn't eat quite as regularly as I should have....I just missed my son. And my wife, don't get me wrong, but the difference was I knew she knew where I was and why I wasn't there. I didn't know that about Jack.

For a couple of days we tried to have me talk to Jack on the phone and it only went so-so. He'd listen at the phone, apparently, and smile, but it wasn't clear that he understood what was going on or that it was me. And then after they'd called me at lunch a couple of days, the phone rang around that time, and it was Emily's sister Cathy explaining that they brought Jack into have his lunch and he pointed to the phone and said in a loud voice "TALK TO DADDY!!!!" And so they called me, and he babbled a bit, and I asked what was going on, and it was great.

So I came here after about 10 days apart, and the plane was delayed so Jack wasn't awake when I got here, but I peeked in on him, and he looked so much bigger, and then the next morning Emily got him and brought him down and although he seemed a bit uncertain, he wasn't afraid of me or anything I was worried about. In a very short time, I think, it was like we hadn't been apart, and he was bringing me toys and telling me to "Sit, Daddy, sit," and we played with Legos and I read him books and put him to bed and all that. And after a couple of days if I left the room or was away I could hear him explaining his feelings and needs in no uncertain terms:

"Myyyy Dad-deeeeeee!"

Yesterday we went to the Park ("Daddy ....Park" he informed me), and rode on the slides, and ran around the jungle gym, and he pointed out butterflies. Today we went to get his haircut, and while we were waiting at the barber -- who had a picture on the wall of him cutting hair from probably 40 years earlier -- Jack climbed in and out of the leather chairs, and I pointed out that they were slippery, to which he responded with peals of laughter...he liked the term "slippery." Got his haircut, came back and had lunch, he had a nap, and in the afternoon we read a book and played with some toys and I realized how much I'd miss him when I went back to Denver for another couple of weeks to finish packing up the house and drive back.

Moments when I wonder why we're doing this and if it's worth it, there are moments like today, late afternoon, when he and his cousin Reanna were downstairs in the basement, playing with a toy kitchen, making plastic toy breakfast. I heard Reanna, who's six, yell and clap "breakfast! Yay!" and I heard Jack say "Yay" and they spent the next half hour or so just playing with the toys. And then they both came running up the stairs and jumped on the couch, and Jack's face was bright and beaming up at his cousin, and I said, yeah, it's worth it.

My Dinner with Jack

Emily was having a farewell happy hour with her co-workers tonight, and there was a showing at our house at 6:15. Thus, Jack and I had to eat out, and although we could have done McDonalds or something, we'd had good success at a Mexican place, Benny's, early in the week, with the three of us, so I decided to take Jack there. They bring chips quickly, which is always key.

I had hoped to sit next to Jack in a booth, but unfortunately it's a bit more crowded on Friday at 6 than Monday at 5:15. So we ended up at a small table in the corner, outside on the patio, facing each other - me in my chair, Jack on a little booster seat. Other patrons about 4 feet away at our elbows.

And Jack was great. The guy brought chips, and Jack shoveled them in, dipping them in salsa, which was hot, but he only minded when he got a really spicy bit, which he would react to with a brief yell of discomfort -- then go right back to shoveling them in. Every once in a while he'd pause to glance at the couple next to us...okay, he'd stare openly at them...and then go back to his food. He ate chips, ate a taco, let me eat my enchiladas and drink my margarita. The whole time I was worried he'd fall off the booster seat or something, but in fact he didn't move -- just sat still and ate. He even started to figure out the straw toward the end of the meal; that when you're drinking milk with a straw you don't need to raise the entire cup above your head.

The only problem with having a meal alone with Jack like that is that, well, he doesn't talk a lot. He just sits there and eats, making noises every once in a while and so forth, laughs at times, but you can't really have a conversation. I thought about having both sides of the conversation, but that would have been a little odd too. So we both just ate, and then at one point music came on, and we both bounced and smiled, and he danced a little in his chair. And then the meal was over and I scooped him up and we went home.

Life moves pretty fast

That's what Ferris Bueller said, and probably somebody else, and it's true. It's been an insane couple of weeks since the last time I wrote...

1. We gave up our dog, Charlie. We could not get him past his aggression toward other dogs and it was starting to worry us, and cause us daily stress. It just became too much. It's a tough thing to do and we went back and forth on it a lot, but it just wasn't working. I miss him, I think we all do -- although Jack, strangely enough, hasn't seemed to notice -- but I have to believe he will find a better life in a home where there aren't so many dogs around him, and maybe he can run and play in larger areas than our smallish yard in a crowded Denver neighborhood. I have to because I can't bear to think he won't. He's a beautiful dog and in many ways a good dog, just must have had a bad experience before us, and hopefully he'll get into a home that doesn't have many dogs around.

2. Emily got a job offer in Connecticut, so we're moving back to the East Coast. Last week we got our house painted, this week it went on the market. The past few days we've walked about our house like it's a museum, afraid to touch anything, since it's all "staged" for potential buyers, which is to say really, really clean. No dishes on counters, no newspapers and magazines lying around -- it looks like the homes at Roanoke, I guess, where everything looks normal, and the people are just gone.

3. Jack is busier than ever. Running around the house clutching toys he cared nothing about 6 months ago, putting together his puzzles, bringing us books from the shelves (a Curious George book I just bought, about which he says "Monkey! Monkey!" until I read it to him), asking for cereal ("Cereal! Cereal!"), smiling a lot, laughing, eating -- pretty much oblivious to the fact, naturally, that next week will probably be his last week at his day care, and that we're all moving back East.

And that's kind of the big one, because it is mostly about Jack, both lately and in general. We want the best for him, and that's part of why we're doing what we're doing, and part of what we do every day, every week, every month.

It's scary to sell one's house, to start a new job, to move across the country, to say goodbye to a lot of people and hello to a lot of others. It's all scary.

But I look at Jack, and he's all excited about having his monkey shaped pancake for breakfast, and can't wait to read a book with me or go outside and play with a basketball or help Mommy pick up leaves from that strange tree in our backyard that used to drop leaves and now drops banana shaped pods or something, and I say, well, it will be okay. We'll make it work. Because there's Jack, and he's a happy guy, and we'll do whatever we can to make sure he stays that way.

Happy Daddy!

Pretty tired tonight, but I want to write down a few random things before I forget them...

- My birthday was a couple of days ago. Emily tried to teach Jack to say "Happy Birthday Daddy!" Jack said "Happy Daddy!" and then went around saying it, with a big smile, for a lot of the day. "Happy Daddy! Happy... Daddy! Hap-py....Dad-dy!" Best birthday present ever.

- When Jack hears a dog bark outside, he says "Woof!" He's in the bath, playing with his toys, and hears a dog bark. Stops what he's doing for a moment. "Woof!" Then goes back to playing.

- He has a large, lap edition of "Goodnight Moon" as well as a small board book of it. This morning he came out of his room with both of them, as he often does. I was in the kitchen, and I heard him saying "Sit. Sit." I look out, and he's sitting on the rug with the lap version in his lap, and the small version a few feet in front of him. He's pointing at it and looking at me. "Sit."

- A little bit later, I'm at the computer, and Charlie is lying near the wall in the back of the room about 10 feet away, as he normally does. Jack comes up with the two books and puts the small one between Charlie's paws, then sits down next to him with his big lap edition. So Charlie could read along with him, I guess. Classic.

- Aunt Robin gave Jack a boat, sea captain, and seagull bath toy. Pretty cool. Jack loves the seagull. "Seagull!" he says. A bath isn't happy until I bring in the seagull and throw him in the water; these days, the seagull makes a bath a bath.

- Jack's favorite food these days is cereal. He likes these wheat pillow like things. The other day he was asking for them, and we'd give them to him, and he'd wander off, then come back for more. We found out he was collecting a tiny little bowl of them, with the bowl being one of the little cups from the egg poacher. I picked it up on one of his treks back for more cereal, because Charlie would likely have eaten it eventually, and he came back with a fistful of cereal, saw his little cup missing, and did a double-take, literally. Mystified. I showed it to him on the edge of the desk. He was happy.

- He likes drawing and coloring with markers. He mostly likes me drawing with markers. I draw him airplanes and sharks over and over again. "Airplane!" "Shark!" I try drawing other things, like a whale, but he says "shark"!

- I'm a huge dinosaur fan. We got him a book called "Dinosaur, Dinosaur." Good book, he likes it. He says "Nanosaur!" Funny to see, and to hear. "Nanosaur!"

So yeah, Jack's doing great.



-

Shooting Star Daily Sheet

If you have your child in day care, every so often you get a pang of guilt. Usually it comes most often on the days you leave him and he wails like you've betrayed some sacred trust, which happens occasionally, or on the days when you don't really have that much work to do and are just hoping to go back to bed for a few hours or find something good on TV.

Most of the time, though, he's in day care because you do in fact have to get some work done, to keep him in diapers and Pirate's Booty snack food and so forth. But sometimes there's that guilt -- I'm letting virtual strangers take care of my baby! These are 9 hours of his life I won't be spending with him!

Recently Jack moved to the "Shooting Star" class at his day care, which I'm very pleased with since I believe his previous one was Pufferbills or somesuch, and I don't even know exactly what that is. I think I'd rather my son be a shooting star than some sort of poor man's version of a penguin.

Anyway, in his new room they've started providing daily sheets at the end of the day which recap his day's activities. We get to find out if he ate his meals well, fantastic, or was not hungry; if he was sad, happy, or energetic (we've yet to get a sad); and if his sleep was "good" or "restless."

At the bottom is a space that reads "The things I did today were:" with a bunch of lines to fill in. And I don't mind saying, I absolutely live for these things. They totally thrill me and break my heart at the same time, in a good way.

7-17: "The things I did today were: climbed slide, ran, jumped, danced, sat, listened to a story, put together a puzzle, and looked at the frog." (There's a frog in an aquarium type thing in their room.)

7-26: "The things I did today were: played with puzzles, pop beads, string beads, pails and shovels, and stacking toys."

7-28: "The things I did today were: playing in the sand table, stringing wooden beads, and playing with the legos. We had a fire drill and it made a very loud noise - it was scary but I was very brave."

I know his teachers write these things; obviously I know that. But still, I just see him there with the fire drill, with an alarmed look on his face, yet maintaining a certain security in the knowledge that it would be okay. Being brave. And singing and dancing, and playing with Legos, and listening to stories.

All stuff we do with him, the four days a week he's not in day care, but all stuff it makes me happy that he's doing there. I read these daily sheets and it's like I'm right there with him.

Which I guess kind of explains this blog, too.

Toys, Puzzles, and Words

Jack is taking an interest, at last, in his toys. So many things he's had for six months - a pirate ship, for example, and various little toy cars and trains - he typically ignored, but no longer. Now he can sit with his pirate ship for 20 minutes, assembling the pieces of the mast, taking them apart, and assembling them again. He runs the trains across furniture, our legs, and Charlie's back (Charlie accepts it stoically, which is nice), saying "Wheeeeeeeee!" and "Choo-choo!" He finds a spot to sit -- recently on the slightly raised threshold between the kitchen and the sun roon -- and sits, then rolling his engines forward as far as they can go. He smiles and says "Wooooooooooooo!"

Then there are puzzles. It used to be that he would just spend time carrying the pieces around, or wrecking it as I assembled it. Now we assemble it together, and he sits patiently as I help him position pieces correctly, waiting to wreck it only AFTER I've completed it. He picks up pieces -- like the two halves of the penguin -- and says "Pengwin!" and then places them in the general vicinity of where they're supposed to go. Tonight he spent several minutes trying to properly put the polar bear head in place; it seems like only yesterday he was running around the house with it saying "Puh-bll"and considering throwing it into the bathtub or down the back stairs.

This brings us to words, and the way his mother beams with pride over what our doctor told us yesterday at his 18-month (sigh...) appointment. "He's very advanced verbally." (Pause to beam with pride myself.) And it's true; Jack probably knows even more words than he uses, or at least, he connects a lot of words with things, and knows a lot more words that he might not necessarily associate with things -- but he's getting there. In the morning, he wants cereal, banana, juice. He likes "booty," which, er, is a "healthy" snack food, Pirate's Booty, which is basically popcorn (um, but healthy). He wants "My milk," and can say please ("Peas!") and thank you ("Atchoo!"). He'll repeat things back to us, immediately, which has us watching our language more than ever. In the bath tonight he asked for his duck ("My duck!"), noticed the faucet protector ("Big duck!"), and requested I get his seagull out of the net hanging on the shower wall ("Seagull!"). So, yeah, he knows a lot of words, even if he doesn't always pronounce them correctly. If I'm not careful, I might slip into his language on occasion myself.

Like saying "nigh-nigh, and atchoo for reading."

Ready For Bed

Tonight I was putting Jack to bed, sitting in the chair with him on my lap, and we were reading "I Spy," this 30-year-old, falling apart hardcover edition that we'd had when we were kids. On each page are pictures of common objects and things - a door, a house, a car, an apple, a rabbit, etc. And he was into it, maybe as into it as any other book I've read to him, which is probably only partly due to it being a good children's book, and partly due to him being 18 months old, and getting smarter, and more interested, and having more of an attention span.

Anyway, at some point I thought it was getting near that time, and so I put the book aside, and was going to turn out the light and rock him a bit, and instead he got off my lap, walked the two steps to the shelf where I'd put the book, grabbed it, and brought it back to me. And I said, well, all righty then. Guess we'll read a little bit more.

It got me thinking that sometimes I'm a little impatient with others; other adults, other kids, Jack. My mind moves a little too quickly at times, and sometimes I've left one thought behind and moved onto the next one without even realizing that I glossed right over the previous one that's still important to somebody else. I thought it was time for Jack to sleep, I thought he'd had enough of that book - and I was wrong. He had a few more minutes, and he hadn't had enough of "I Spy."

Sometimes, like tonight, I see Jack running around, which he's doing, hugging his Mommy's legs, and mine, patting Charlie ("Teddy!"), drinking his water (his, not Charlie's), and playing with his toys. And I want those moments to last forever. I don't want them to end. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not ever. They're just too beautiful.

Of course, there are times when he wants to stay up and it really IS time for bed, but there's a happy medium there between making sure he doesn't stay up too late, and putting him to bed too early. And the next time my mind is racing about to the next moment rather than the moment we're in, I hope I recognize it, and take a step back. Him going to bed five minutes later isn't the worst thing in the world. Reading an extra five minutes, sometimes, is one of the best.

We read the book for about 5 more minutes, me pointing out different pictures, him recognizing some of them (train! boat! big car!), me being patient. And then I put the book aside, turned out the light, and he put his head on my chest. And I sang him froggie went a' courting or somesuch and put him to bed. And not much later, he went to sleep, because he was ready.

The Sit Game, Airplanes, and Haircuts: How Jack Spent His Summer Vacation

Sometimes there's just too much to remember, too much to write about, to cover it all. This is why blogs should be updated daily, but that's hard to do on vacation. So I'm going to start with some of the best memories from our summer vacation to the East Coast, and sprinkle in some of the worst...

- In Vermont, visiting Nana and Baba Richardson (the name Jack's Irish cousins came up with for my parents), Robin and Michael McArdle (sister and her husband), and their four lovely children, Jack seemed fascinated by his older cousins - 11-year-old Laura, 9-year-old Niamh, and 4 1/2-year-old twins Abbey and Mikey. He followed Abbey around, got horsie rides on Laura's knee, let Niamh carry him around like a sack of flour, and had the occasional tense moment battling for toys with Mikey, who wasn't used to there being another boy around hogging some of the attention.

Jack taught everyone in the McArdle family what they called The Sit Game, which - as I've mentioned in a previous blog - basically involves Jack telling everyone where to sit, then crossing them up by telling them to sit elsewhere, or commandeering their seat for himself and directing them to another chair, and then repeating it for the next, oh, indefinite amount of time. When Emily and I played golf with my Dad, Jack played The Sit Game with Robin, my Mom, and whatever kids were around. The game was made particularly entertaining by the fact that two of the chairs on the porch were kid sized, and not at all meant for adults; that didn't matter to Jack. "Sit," he'd say. "Sit." And so everyone did, no matter how uncomfortable it was. Everyone seemed to enjoy this game a lot, as did Jack, since they played it basically every day.

- In New York, visiting Emily's sister Cathy, husband Ian, and their three kids - Reanna, 6, and Stacey and Lyndsay, 4 - as well as Mom Pat and Papa Earl (their name for him), Jack didn't play much of The Sit Game. That's because he was captivated by playing on their deck and paved driveway, which had the attraction of being under the daily route of a lot of airplanes from nearby Westchester County Airport. Jack would hear a plane and stop, look up, point, and say "Airplane!" This did not get old for him, or for us really, because it was so damn cute.

- The New Yorkers gave Jack a large, riding Thomas the Tank Engine toy, which he wheeled around the driveway on, or got pushed around on by (mostly) Reanna. They also had a little car, presumably Reanna's, which he got a great kick out of. So basically when he wasn't standing and pointing up at the sky, he was sitting and wheeling around saying "Car. Car. Car," or pushing the buttons on the train and saying "Choo-Choo!" Good stuff.

- No vacation is complete without minidramas, and there were certainly several on this one. For one, Reanna wanted Jack to sleep in his crib in her room, and we had no problem with that, and so he did. This went well on some nights and not so well on others, like the one where he woke up and was, evidently, terribly scared. Emily and I (sleeping in the finished basement, two floors from where Jack was wailing) were awakened in the night by Cathy holding Jack, his eyes like saucers, staring at us through the darkened room. Not sure whether he'd be okay to go back upstairs to his crib or needed to sleep down there with us, we tried to ask him what he wanted. After a long silence, a wretched, miserable, "Momm-MEEEE...." escaped his lips, so we brought the crib downstairs and that's how the night worked out. Other nights he either slept through or Cathy was able to get him back to sleep, while Reanna evidently slept right through all of it. Or at least most of it.

- Then there was the incident which began with The Phone Call (Robin calling from Vermont to say that one of her children had picked up lice in Ireland the previous week), followed by The Panic (finding a bug in Jack's hair), followed by The Haircut (Jack going from looking like a member of The Beatles to looking like River Phoenix in Stand By Me - Buzzcuts 'R' Us, thank you again Aunt Cathy). Followed by the frequent shampoos and baths, which Jack had previously enjoyed but now wailed and cried all the way through, being as he didn't really get to play during them - he just had us searching through his head. At the moment we appear to be all lice-free, but we're still making daily checks. That wasn't the funnest.

- Back to the happier moments, which included a trip to Billings Farm in Vermont (we saw lots of cow butts and Jack got very close to a lamb and then a chicken which clawed at its cage and either hurt him or at least scared him, judging by his reaction); Jack drawing pictures with Niamh (his signature style is one we refer to as "diagonal scrawl"); Jack playing for hours with the three girls at Cathy's, including puzzles, markers, and a thrilling puppet show put on by Reanna; and Jack meeting Emily's friend Karen's 8-month old daughter (he got jealous when she held him) and Sue and Dave's two-year-old daughter Emma (they played in a toy house in the back yard, both sitting at the little table as though having breakfast together). Jack laughing when Michael tickled him, happily chasing my parents' dog Molly around the house, and playing tee-ball at Cathy's. And I have to add, figuring it out so quickly that he could set the tee up, put the ball on it, and then whirl around saying "Bat!" and careening off to find the bat. That's m'boy. Good times.

There's one particular moment, though, that I won't forget, or at least I hope I won't. Jack and Abbey found their way into my parents' room, and climbed up onto their bed. Standing on it, they could see my Mom's wall mirror across the room, and Abbey began running around and jumping up and down. (Mom and Dad, if your sheets were a bit rumpled one night last week, that's why.) Jack, watching her, did the same. And then they were both jumping up and down, watching each other, watching the mirror, and running in circles. And laughing and laughing. And I just sat there marveling, laughing, and sorry the camera was downstairs.

Moments like that are what vacations should be all about, and fortunately, sometimes they are.

Airplane!

Jack's summer vacation began on an airplane, ended on an airplane, and in between there were a lot of airplanes. Appropriately, all of us are kind of jet-lagged, so I'm going to have to write this blog tomorrow. G'night.

And then on other days....

Sometimes I suspect this blog comes off like everything is great. And for the most part, it is, because Jack just makes me happy, and makes me laugh, a lot of the time.

But not always. Sometimes, in fact, it's tough. For example....

- I don't always know what he's saying. After I wrote the blog entry below, for example, I learned that "Why Do" is actually him asking for WATER. Oops. So when we're eating dinner and he's gesturing at something on the table which I can't imagine what he possibly means, and he's saying "Bit tay!" or something similar, and getting frustrated and upset when I have no idea what he's talking about, but suspect it's something (a beer, the car keys, a metal candleholder) that I wouldn't want him to have anyway....well, that can be difficult. It usually ends in my giving him a selection of things I DO want him to have - his food, his milk, my food, the plastic ketchup bottle - which he shoves away with a "No...!" as if, good grief Daddy, why can't you figure out that I want you to give me the can opener? Yeah, that's not so much fun.

- He has been known to get cranky. This typically happens when he hasn't gotten enough sleep, or his food and/or drink isn't getting to him quickly enough, but whatever the cause, he sometimes gets upset. Maybe I don't want him playing with the house keys anymore right before bed, or I don't want him to go outside at 7 at night in his pajamas, or I want him to eat something besides fruit. Sometimes there doesn't even appear to be a reason. One second he wants cheese, I give him cheese, and he throws it on the floor in dismay. Then he wants it back. So...is he upset because he wanted cheese or because he didn't want cheese? Good question. Two minutes later he'll be happily munching on cheese, the moment forgotten.

- Sometimes the things he most wants to do aren't things we want him to do. (Shocking, I know.) Like playing outside when it's 98 degrees. Or watching "The Backyardigans" on Noggin for a third time. Or wash his hands for the umpteenth time. Or carry his step stool out back for who knows what reason. Or grab Charlie's tail. Minor stuff, for the most part, but when you manage to stop him from doing one thing he shouldn't be doing and he immediately starts doing the thing you stopped him from doing 5 minutes earlier....Sigh.

- Often when I'm changing his diaper, he acts like it's some tremendous affront to his person - and not something we've done every several hours every day of his life. Another good one is getting dressed in the morning; most of the time he's fine, but then there are days when he just wails, as if, again, it's not something we do every single morning, and have done every day of his life. Well Jack, I can't let you run outside naked except for the extremely full diaper you've been wearing since last night, can I? That question seldom resonates with him.

And that's about it. I can't think of anything else to complain about. I think that makes about 796 great things about Jack, 4 not so great. That's a ratio I can live with, so next time we'll go back to stories of him laughing in hysterics as I turn him upside down or toss him in the air, as happened just yesterday. It was a day like any other, and.....

Why Do?

Frequently when we put Jack down for bed at night, he knows it's time. He lies down flat on his stomach, or lifts his little butt up into the air, closes his eyes, and ultimately sleeps. Sure, there are the occasional delays - Jack babbling contentedly to himself, or liberating his stuffed animals from the crib - but gradually he's silent, asleep.

Then there are nights like tonight, when for whatever reason, he doesn't want to sleep. He runs out into the living room in the middle of story time, he heads for the back stairs or the front window....the other night he ran out to the kitchen and asked for "shirryal?" And on some of those nights when we do put him down in the crib, he cries. Usually this turns into sleep within a minute or two, because he's exhausted, but sometimes he wails loudly, as though betrayed, and we'll go in, and soothe him, and usually he'll see us, too tired to even sit up, and sleep.

Tonight I went in, shortly after Emily had put him down, and gone in herself, because he was still crying. And as I soothed him - he was too tired to even sit up - he said, "Why do? Why do?"

Now we know a lot of what Jack means when he says things, like "Peeez!" is "Please," and "Shirryal" is Cereal, and "Mawk-muh" is milk -- why he's turned a one-syllable word into a much more difficult two-syllable one is beyond us. But "Why do?", I have no idea.

I hope he's not saying "Why do you put me to bed now? I want to read and run and laugh and play more! Let's go run around the backyard with the basketball, or go see the Teddies down the street, or maybe catch a few minutes of The Backyardigans show we have on TiVo. Why do you put me to bed? Why do?" It's probably just me thinking that.

But just in case he is saying that, I'll try to make sure he gets his fill of all those activities -- all of which, I should add, we did repeatedly today -- tomorrow. And the next day, and....

Funny Jack

Just a few things that make me laugh...

Jack says "hot" a lot, either about his food, or the weather, or the patio stones out back on a warm day. He hasn't always known what it means, I think, since he says it when he gets cold things, too, like a cold glass of milk. He says, "hot," and holds a hand up and makes side to side motions with it, as you might if you think a film was so-so. "Hot," he says. "Hot."

He likes to say "sit," and this one he knows what it means. "Sit" when he wants to sit in a chair. Frequently "sit" when he wants to sit in YOUR chair, which sometimes means sit in your lap, and sometimes means, move. And when you move, and he sits there, he indicates another chair, where he wants you to sit. "Sit," he says. "Sit."

We don't watch a ton of TV with him, but we do watch a little Noggin, which includes Jack's Big Music Show (yes, it's actually called that) and the various songs by the "host," this yellow animated Moose who I believe is called Moose A. Moose. Anyway, at the end of the day they do a "Goodbye Song," and he loves it (I do too), and he waves goodbye and says goodbye, and then when it ends, he says "En!", which I take to mean "Again!" because we have TiVo and can rewind and play it again. Which we do, and then he say "En!" again, and we watch it again. And he waves goodbye, and if we're lucky he smiles and bounces and kind of dances in place. It's a fun tune.

He calls Charlie, our dog, "Teddy." He also calls other dogs "Teddies." Like, the Irish Setters down the street, that he starts walking over to see. "Teddy," he says. "Teddy." I don't know why.

But it's funny, every time, every day.

Anmals!

Jack talking never ceases to be enjoyable. He has this book called "Goodnight Gorilla," in which a zookeeper goes around saying good night to all the animals in the zoo, while the monkey (gorilla, I guess, but he's a little guy) steals his keys and goes around behind him letting out all the animals. He lets out the - if memory serves - elephant, lion, giraffe, hyena, and armadillo.

There aren't many words in the book, mostly pictures; the only words are the zookeeper saying good night to each animal. So I do most of the talking, keeping a running monologue as I read the book. "Oh, he's letting out the elephant. Jack, can you say elephant?"

Jack: "Effant!"

Me: "That's right, Elephant. Oh, he's letting out the lion. Jack, can you say lion?"

Jack: "Line!"

Me: "That's right, Lion. Now he's letting out the giraffe. Jack, can you say giraffe?"

Jack: "Raff!"

Me: "Hyena?"

Jack: "Hine!"

Me: "Armadillo?"

Jack: "Ah Dill!"

Me: "And what about monkey?"

Jack: "Muh!"

A lot of fun.

Hoop Dreams

Jack really likes playing outside, and because I was a little tired of seeing him battle Charlie for tennis balls and do little more than climb in and out of patio furniture, I decided it was time to get him another backyard toy. Granted he's been kind of enjoying the slide of late, which is fun, but I wanted him to have something new.

So it was that we zipped off to Toys'R'Us this morning to find him something to launch his career in sports. Since this isn't about me, I won't dwell on my own sports background, beyond saying that the one sport I never showed the slightest proficiency in -- or for that matter great interest in -- was basketball. Naturally, I got him a child's basketball hoop.

The reasoning was simple: getting a 17-month old a golf club or baseball bat and expecting him to hit a ball with it seemed overly optimistic. In the first place there are plenty of grown men and women who can't achieve such a thing even now, and in the second place, Jack loses patience with a spoon or other utensil just a few bites into his meal, casting it aside in order to work with his hands directly. I'm sure he'd do the same with a golf club, at least at this point.

(While at Toys'R'Us, of course, we also got a dinosaur puzzle, which he loved and instantly proved that he does in fact know the world puzzle, and a step stool so he could wash his hands at the sink. The stool he proceeded to carry around with him for the next hour or so until we managed to distract him and hide the thing back in the bathroom, where it lives until he finds it again.)

So during his nap I set up the hoop, and that afternoon we went outside. I showed him the hoop, gave him the mini basketball, and he immediately carried the ball over to the hoop and dunked the thing, proving he's either a basketball prodigy and we'll all be millionaires when he's the top pick in the NBA Draft at age 18, or else they have one of these things at day care.

In any case, he spent the next hour or so dunking the ball, watching it bound away across the yard after bouncing off the base, chasing it down, bringing it back to the hoop, and dunking it again. I alternated beaming with joy and making sure my very interested dog didn't seize the ball and puncture it as it rolled across the back patio. (We got some good work in on "leave it!")

Jack and I are a long way from heading up to Washington Park and challenging a couple of toughs to a game of 2-on-2, but it was great to see him quickly adapting to the sport, and reassuring to think he'd have a new toy to be interested in for the next week and a half. At which point I'll go out and get him that child's golfing set, because you never know. Maybe he HADN'T ever seen a basketball hoop before, and just had some innate athletic ability that will carry him through his childhood and on to fame and fortune in the Olympics. And maybe, just maybe, the first time he sees a golf club and ball he'll be hitting them onto the highway a mile away. Look out, Tiger Woods: you may be chasing Jack (Nicklaus), but another Jack might one day be chasing you.

Puh bll

We recently gave Jack a puzzle he'd received for Christmas. It had a few smallish pieces and we weren't sure he was ready for it at the time he got it. Pretty sure it came from his aunt Robin, since there's a sticker on the back saying it was made in Ireland. It's a puzzle of polar bears, penguins, and seals frolicking on a patch of ice, while whales swim about in the water below.

So I opened the plastic on the puzzle and he instantly took out all the pieces, which made putting it together kind of difficult since there wasn't a picture guide and I didn't remember what it looked like. But after several hours of work I managed to assemble it again, just so Jack could again destroy it.

Early on it was clear he had a certain fondness for two pieces (one of which, I'm sad to say, has since disappeared to parts unknown.) One is a little baby polar bear, riding on its mommy's (or daddy's, who knows, they're polar bears) back. The second is the smiling HEAD of the adult polar bear, who shall remain gender unknown. I'd build the puzzle, he'd wreck the puzzle, and then he'd go running off through the house - he's basically started running, about three weeks after starting walking - with one of these pieces in each hand.

As you can imagine, Jack digging the puzzle out from where we kept it underneath his bookshelves, scattering its pieces across his room, and then running through the house with two of them, wasn't really conducive to putting him to sleep as part of his bedtime routine. So yesterday, we tried putting it away - I hid it in the back office while Emily gave Jack his bath.

Later, I'm working, and Emily is getting Jack into his pajamas and ready for bed, when I hear, faintly, him saying "puh bll.....puh bll....puh bll...." Emily informs me he's down on the floor, looking under his bookshelves for the puzzle. "puh bll....puh bll..." How could we resist that? We bring out the puzzle, he lights up, grabs his two favorite pieces, and he's happy.

The question (among others, like did we give in too easily to his plaintive cries) is, is he saying "Puzzle," or "Polar bear"? Because we've referred to it as a puzzle, and to the polar bears as polar bears. And even if he IS saying "Puzzle," does he think he's referring to the polar bears?

If you'll excuse me, I have to go try to find that other piece.

Scary phone calls

The phone rang around midday yesterday; it was Jack's daycare. "We've had a little crisis, not a big crisis," said Mary, the director. As I freaked out, she explained that Jack had fallen on the playground and hit the back of his head, and she described the wound as a "puncture." This of course did not have me freaking out any less, and she hadn't even gotten to the part about the blood.

"He didn't even cry, and was walking around afterward, but after we cleaned up the blood he seemed kind of sleepy. Now, it's near his naptime, so maybe he was just tired, but we want to make sure it's not a concussion." I said, we'd be right there, hung up, called the doctor, frantically told them the story, wanted to get him in for an appointment, and they said, well, what we have people do is go and get their child, and then call us from there, because sometimes what people hear from the daycare isn't 100 percent accurate. So go get him, and then call us."

I called Emily's office, because she's about 5 minutes away from Jack's daycare, and got voicemail. Called her cell, got her, and she said she was on a conference call and could she call me back? I said Jack fell at school and one of us had to go get him. She said Okay! Bye! and presumably got off the conference call in seconds flat. And then we talked again as she headed over. I left out the word "punctured." I asked her to call me with the details and said I'd meet her at the doctor.

The next 10 minutes really were the longest of my life. I paced, I fretted, I looked daggers at the phone, I lamented the fact that Jack cried when I dropped him off that morning, and hugged my legs - it happens sometimes after a long weekend, which he'd just had with us. I ran through scores of worst-case scenarios. I tried to will the phone to ring. I called Emily and left a message.

Finally she called. Jack was fine, normal, happy. Just a cut on the back of his head, probably a rock. She'd called the doctor from there and they'd told her that we should keep an eye on him and let them know if any problems. Last night Emily brought Jack home, he was happy and smiling, I think he bonked me on the forehead at some point with one of his toys, and then he went to sleep, ultimately, and we all had a good night.

And I vowed to go out with him Thursday to get him a new pair of sneakers, ones that he maybe won't be as apt to fall in.

I don't get scared a lot. I usually just figure things will be okay and work themselves out, or at least I try to believe that stuff. But I guess there's not much scarier than a scary phone call from somebody watching your child.

I'm going to go listen to him sleeping.

Funniest. Kid. Ever.

I think of all the things we were told and not told about having a baby, the one thing we were never told is just how much he would make us laugh. For example....

1. We frequently toast each other at meals with a clink of glasses, and it wasn't long before Jack wanted to join. Now when we raise our glasses, Jack lunges for his cup of milk and breaks out into a huge smile. And we toast each other and drink.

2. Tonight I taught Jack this thing one of Emily's co-workers was doing at a Happy Hour last week, knocking fists and "blowing it up" - pulling his hand away afterwards with his fingers splayed out wildly. I did this with Jack, and he cracked up. Repeatedly. Causing us to crack up, repeatedly.

3. In the evenings, as Jack runs around burning off his evening energy, he farts a lot. There's nothing quite as amusing as Jack bending down to lift a heavy object and ripping a little toddler fart. Which he is indifferent to, of course, which makes it all the funnier.

4. We expect children to get attached to certain toys, or stuffed animals, which is why the things that Jack has so far been attached to -- his shoes, and a box of magic markers -- are pretty entertaining. He'll walk around the house holding his shoes, or our shoes -- once he was wearing a pair of my shoes on each arm. And he of course accompanies his journeys with dialogue, which goes something like this: "Shoe............................Shoe...........
........Shoes.................Shoe....." As for the magic markers, I don't really understand that one, but he likes to carry this box of 8 thick magic markers around the house, and occasionally they fall out, and he'll stop, stoop, sometimes fart, and methodically place them back in the box, then continue on his way. The height of amusement was when we had taken the box away at some point, when he was distracted, and he couldn't find them but DID find the strip of cardboard that used to be on top of the box, before it had torn off in his hands. So he walked around with the strip of cardboard for a little while.

5. He tends to like to treat me as a horsie, whether I'm ready for it or not. So I can be sitting or lying on the floor, say, and he'll climb on top of me, get into a sitting position, and then start bouncing up and down on my stomach. And he's beaming and going "AAAA! AAAA! AAAA! AAAA!" in time with his horseback riding, and I'm going "Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!" as my midriff gets worked over painfully. And I'm laughing, which makes me even less braced for the bouncing. He's not light anymore.

I guess I just didn't realize I'd laugh so much, even though I feel like I'm incredibly busy, not getting enough sleep, and have way too much on my mind. So thanks, Jack, for the laughs. Keep 'em coming.

Belly of the Baby

One of the standard games we've played for a while with Jack is getting him to indentify body parts. "Where are Jack's eyes?" "Where is Daddy's nose?" "Where are Mommy's ears?" and so on and so forth. One that fascinates him of late is The Belly.

"Where is Jack's belly?" He'll drop whatever he's doing or holding and lift up his shirt so he can gaze down at his belly button. It's almost like he's surprised to see it there - raising his shirt and HEY! Look at that. It's Jack's belly!

The game has evolved to the point where Jack is amused, or intrigued, or otherwise insistent upon seeing OUR bellies, too. He'll walk purposefully up to me and grab at my shirt, so I'll raise it and say, "Yup, there's Daddy's belly." Jack accepts this information with great satisfaction, then will typically show his, and look for Mommy....This continues for a little while.

It is my fervent hope that he does not go to day care and walk around getting all of his little friends and adult teachers to show him their bellies, as well.

Five Things My Son Did This Week

1. Yesterday afternoon I was having kind of a rough day. Charlie's been kind of a challenge lately, and I had a lot of work I was trying to get done, and I was beat. Emily was a little sick and came home early, so she was watching Jack for a bit while I worked; I think she was reading him a story in his room.

Suddenly I heard Jack thumping out of his room. I looked around the corner and there he was, walking along, holding up the book "Pat the Bunny" in one hand, and pointing at me. He had come to the page where "Now YOU feel Daddy's scratchy face," and the book just wasn't going to cut it - he had to feel his actual Daddy's scratchy face. And so he did. And my day was instantly better.

2. It's not enough that Jack has started walking, now he has to carry things while he walks. His heavy, musical ball. His little musical school bus. Heavy things, in other words, that he really shouldn't be walking around with, and he typically drops, nearly on his foot. (Not yet, but tomorrow is another day.)

The other day I heard him walking in the next room, saying "AHHRRR.....AHHHRRR...." I looked out, and there he is, walking, carrying his Fun Fair, which is about half his size. He then dropped it. Not on his foot. He paused. Sighed. Then stooped over to pick it up again.

3. Sometimes he likes to stand in the front door. I lock the storm door, but he can still stand there and look out the window at the cars, trucks, people and dogs. So on Tuesday he was standing there, looking out the window, saying "HI!" as people walked along the sidewalk approaching the house, and "BUH BYE," as people walked along the sidewalk away from the house. "HI! HI! HI! ...... BUH BYE....BUH BYE....BUH BYE...."

4. I'm not going to push him toward sports any more than is a father's primal instinct and, yay, solemn duty to do so, but I'm happy to report that he's developed a certain fondness for the object known as Ball, or as Jack says, "Bawwwh." Pictures in a book: "Bawwwh!" His plush, soft soccer ball, which he walks around carrying. "Bawwwh." And of course the little plastic balls from the Fun Fair, which roll underneath every piece of furniture as if sucked in by a magnet. So frequently I'll walk into the room and he'll be half underneath his crib, or the dining room table, or some other piece of furniture, stretching forward, his little butt sticking out, and from under the piece of furniture, his little muffled voice, saying "Bawwwh.....Bawwwh...."

5. As I was writing this, I heard the thump thump thump thump of little feet. My son came bursting into the computer room, clad only in a new diaper, hair dripping from the bath his Mom had just given him. He stood solidly, facing me, glowing with happiness and pride, either because he'd walked so far on his own or looked so cute, it's hard to say which.

His Mom arrived behind him. "Jack, we need to get your pajamas on."

Jack: "BUH bye! BUH BYE....!" And then, as she walked him off to his room, hand-in-hand: "Nigh-Nigh....Nigh-Nigh...Nigh-Nigh..."

Nigh-Nigh.

Walking and Talking

Ode to Jack Walking (sung to the tune of "But Not the Hippopotamus"):

Jack and his snack are walking forth and back
But not his hippopotamus.

A boy and his toys are making some noise
With his walker, a hippopotamus.

Now Jack and his snack are walking out back
With his toys making noise like he's more than one boy.

With yes, his hippopotamus.

I think some small part of us - Emily, anyway - was a little concerned when Jack, more than 15 months old, showed little inclination to walk. We kind of figured he'd be a little slow since I, allegedly, didn't walk until I was 18 months, which strikes me as untrue, but I was too young to be certain.

People told us to enjoy his pre-walking days while we could, because once he could walk, our lives would be a lot more difficult. That hasn't really been the case yet, but he's certainly walking, and there's no stopping him now.

Now that he CAN walk, I don't think he spent as much as two seconds crawling today. Put him down on the floor, and he immediately stands. If he wants out, he walks away. Even though he's not going very quickly yet, he's clearly very proud of his new-found ability, striding along, lifting his little feet up and down, slightly bow-legged, with his elbows kind of sticking out and his hands reaching forward like he's the Frankenstein monster, a little smile cracking his features.

His walking is augmented by talking, as he's frequently walking toward something of interest. Like a ball, even when that ball belongs to another child, like the one we saw at the park today. Every time we put him down and tried to steer him in another direction, he'd pivot and head right back toward that ball. "Bawh! Bawh! Bawh? Bawh."

Then he'll stand in the doorway and wave at people in the street as they walk by. "Hi! Hi!" And then, as they disappear: "Buh bye! Buh bye!" Really, it's classic.

He says Mommy and Dada so often while walking we're convinced these words have multiple meanings in his mind. He'll walk across the house, walking right by his Mommy, saying "Mommy? Mommy. Mommy?" At the park he'll point toward random strangers. "Dada. Dada." Which as you can imagine is something I'd sort of like to discourage in the future.

Seeing him walk is filling me with weepy nostalgia about the early days, when he couldn't even lift his head, followed by him being unable to roll over, followed by him being unable to sit up, and then unable to crawl, and now...well, again: car keys. It's only a matter of time.

But if there's half as much fun in everything else as seeing the little grin on his face as he bobs and bounces on his little bare feet across the living room floor, well, I guess I can handle it.

Down In Ol' Mexico

We went to Mexico last week. It was our first vacation just for us in a couple of years, since our last trip to Mexico, shortly before we had Jack. That 5-day trip was an extended period of drinking, swimming, sunning, and siesta-ing. This 5-day trip had some of those things, but with a 15-month old toddler it was rather different. For one thing, we drank less. For another, we slept less. (Jack was only so-so with the resort pack-n-play. And for a third, well, it was a classic example of a vacation where you need another vacation to recover from when you get back.

The trip was too big to cover in one blog, so I'm just going to run through some highlights.....

1. Jack started walking. Maybe it was always being barefoot, or not having his supportive walkers around to lean on, or maybe it was just the right time, but Jack started walking in Mexico. He had taken a few steps on occasion with us here, but in the resort, he suddenly held his arms up, arched his back a little, and took off, walking up to 20 feet at a time, and turning around, and walking back, always with a big, pleased smile on his face. Oh yeah, I'm walking. That's right. Can you dig it? Oh yeah. His best walk was when I was sitting on the couch doing a sudoku puzzle, Emily was in the bathroom, and Jack was standing at the coffee table near me. Suddenly out of the corner of my eye I saw his head sort of bobbing across the room, and I looked up, and there he was, just cruising over to the bathroom, finding the door closed, turning, and cruising on back. Smiling. Just classic.

2. Jack didn't sleep on either of the 3-hour plane trips -- until the plane was shuddering and roaring while it was landing on the tarmac. No joke: the two LOUDEST portions of the entire trip were when his head slumped to his chest and he snored his way to sleep. On the way there he slept during touch down, going through baggage claim and customs, and all the way out to catch our bus to the resort. On the way back he slept through touch down and customs, waking up in baggage claim. To Jack, airports must be the easiest thing in the world: one minute you're on the plane, the next you're at the sidewalk trying to catch a ride to your hotel or car. This seems as good a place as any to mention that as Emily learned on the trip there and I learned on the trip home, he's kind of a heavy little guy, especially when he's zonked out.

3. Jack loves the ocean. Within an hour after arrival, we'd changed into our suits, lathered up, put on Jack's little cap with the neck and ear flaps ("Lawrence of Ababya," Emily dubbed him), and cruised down to the ocean. I went down to the water with him in my arms, dropped to my knees in the surf, and let the waves slam into us - my back, his legs, as I held him up a bit. He screamed with laughter, cackled with joy, like it the greatest thing he'd ever experienced. We did this repeatedly; it didn't get old for him. Except for one time when I kind of got knocked over and we both went under, but even that he was a trouper about; he sort of sputtered a bit and looked a bit befuddled, but didn't cry and seconds later was yukking it up again as the next wave crashed into us. He crawled across the sand like it was his favorite game. Since there are no oceans in Colorado, it looks like we'll either be moving or taking our share of trips to various coasts in the coming years.

4. Vacationing with a baby is exhausting. The plane trips, with Jack needing constant entertainment/soothing, were tiring. Meals, which were a constant battle to both eat and keep Jack happy (when he's not happy, or into his food, he tends to throw it on the floor), were anything but relaxing. Sleep, which either ended too early or was interrupted by a couple of hours of Jack being upset (What is this place? Where am I? Where's my nightlight that my idiot parents forgot to bring?), seldom left us feeling rested. And then there were the middle portions of each day where Emily and I barely saw each other, as Jack took a long nap and we traded off staying in the room with him with visiting the beach, the pool, and of course the swim-up bar. Emily would disappear for an hour, come back slightly burned, and I'd spare a quick kiss before making a break for the beach myself. There were no 2-hour siestas by the pool for either of us, not that I've ever been any good at the kind of thing anyway; we wanted to give the other person a little break.

5. Jack's a charmer. The guy flirts with older women. Makes serious-looking businessmen and overworked busboys smile. Behaves for all the world like the perfect baby, aside of course from those moments when he's throwing food or drink on the ground or fussing in his airplane seat because he's exhausted but has to wait another hour and a half before he can finally fall asleep. But for all the angry looks you worry you might get from people when you've got a baby with you, and he's babbling loudly about nothing, the truth is you really get a lot of smiles. Which is kind of cool.

Vacations are important. They can be more expensive than you expect, more work than you expect, and more tiring than you expect. But even as I yawn my way through this blog I know I'm not going to remember the two hours of listening to him not sleep 15 feet away in his pack-n-play for several nights, anywhere near as long as I'll remember him in his little bathing suit and T-shirt walking like a little wind-up toy across the suite with a big grin on his face, or sending peals of joyous laughter out over the waves, as another one smashed into us.

Day Care Where?

Jack's day care center, Bliss Academy Early Learning Center, is closing at the end of the May. Only the other day, for the umpteenth time, we were talking about how lucky we were with them. They were our 2nd choice, but ultimately far better than our first choice would have been for several reasons, and they've been great for Jack. He's been there every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday since he was about 14 weeks - most of his life then. That's so long ago it's scary to write.

Basically they're being kicked out of their very nice location, so more ugly condos or office complexes can be built or something. I've kind of tried to be okay about the whole thing because really, it's a lot harder on the staff and teachers there, who on the whole strike us as very nice people, and are suddenly going to be out of a job they love doing - and in many cases have done at Bliss for many years. It's going to be harder on parents who BOTH work in offices 5 days a week.

But since this is my blog, you get to hear how it affects us, and needless to say we're quite upset about the whole thing. Jack drew his first sort of pictures there, made his first palm print / foot print art, made Father's and Mother's Day cards for us, kissed his first girl (we've got the picture to prove it), and made his first little friends. Had his first teachers, his first community aside from his family. He seemed to enjoy himself.

Jack won't have any idea what's going on when he suddenly isn't going there anymore. Presumably he'll be going somewhere else, and will adapt, but not only have we not yet found another place (in two days of frantic calling and looking, mostly by Emily), we don't know for sure that we'll be able to. It's six weeks away, and the shortest waiting list we've found is 3-6 months. And even those aren't exact, they're just estimates, which could be good - or bad.

Speaking philosophically here, because I don't want Emily to cry too much reading this, Jack was going to be leaving Bliss eventually anyway. He'd already switched rooms, going to one with entirely new teachers and new children. Soon he'd switch rooms again, and then leave. And he's perfectly happy being home with me, which is where he'll be, full-time, if we can't or until we can find another place. (Which, as an aside, we can safely assume means I'll be sleeping a whole lot less, since I'm still going to have to work and stuff. Anyway.)

We're going to find another day care, though. We have to. Because Jack enjoys it, and we think it's good for him. We don't have friends with kids his age in our neighborhood, just work and former work friends, none of whom live close enough to us for weekday gatherings.

The sad thing, among other things, is that it's just kind of a shame. Finding a day care, sending our baby to a day care, was the toughest and scariest thing we've ever done. Well, right up there with moving across the country and having a baby in the first place and bringing him home the first time and taking care of him and his first doctor's appointment and the first time he got sick and all that stuff. And we find a place, and it's great, and now it's gone.

What can you do? Just try to be glad for them being there when they were, because they were great, and hoping things turn out as well or better at his next place. Because we love the little guy and want him to be happy. And this is just the first tough change for him and for us, with probably, unavoidably, and hopefully in most cases wonderfully, many more yet to come.

Swimming

Emily got Jack into swimming classes. Starfish Swim School, in Aurora. He got this little T-shirt that says Starfish Swim School on it, and these colorful little swim trunks, and he and Emily go every Saturday morning. The class was called "Tiny Bubbles," because all the attendees were roughly Jack's age - about 12-15 months. I had been unable to go the first month since it was at the same time as Charlie's dog obedience class (Charlie did not get a T-shirt or swim trunks, but upon graduation last week he did get his picture taken wearing a sporty mortarboard, and he seemed happy enough about it). That's over now, so I got to go to swim class with Jack and Emily.

I have my own memories of swimming lessons, although of course I wasn't as young as Jack was. They were at a neighborhood home in Vermont, held pretty early in the morning, and being as it was early morning in Vermont, it was freezing. I remember doing the "steamboat," and learning to tread water, and other things, eventually, but mostly I remember it was freezing.

Anyway, it's been 80 in Denver the past couple of days, and although it was cooler today, the swim class was inside, and the pool area was heated. One difference that Jack faced was whereas I was one of 3-4 kids getting lessons in Vermont, there were several different classes going on, dozens of kids, and of course family members crowded around the pool, all of them snapping tons of pictures with their digital camera. Oh wait, that was just me.

But Jack, to his credit, seemed okay with the crowds, and the pool itself, initially because he was in his Mommy's arms, occasionally because he saw his Daddy waving madly and grinning like an idiot, and later because he had a toy to play with, a little plastic submarine, that was more fascinating to him than any fear of the water or the noise or the splashing or that guy with the digital camera almost taking a header off the edge of the pool.

The half-hour class featured Jack being held by the hands while he lay on his stomach and kicked with his feet, being lifted into the air like a ball, and placed into a yoke-like floating device so he could float around without being held. At one point Emily brought him to the side of the pool so he could touch it with his hands, and "walk" along it. And frequently he enjoyed playing with toys -- submarine, squeezy fish, some kind of ball. Much better bath toys than I've been able to find for him, as noted in an earlier entry, but regrettably the gift shop was sold out of the submarine.

The cool thing to the whole experience was just to sit back (and lean forward with the camera, so sue me) and watch Jack and his Mommy in the pool. His Mommy looked happy. Jack looked unafraid.

What more could a Daddy want?

Hi!

Jack says hi a lot. Pretty much all the time, except on three occasions. 1. When friends or acquaintances come into our home, or 2. When we go into theirs. Or 3. When we call a family member on the phone and give him the phone to say Hi to them. Then he is essentially silent. Stage fright, I guess.

But random strangers we pass on the street? "Hi!" A phone or cellphone that's turned off? "Hi!" The TV remote? "Hi!" People driving by while we're on our front porch? "Hi!"

Clearly, he's ambivalent about getting a response, or carrying on a conversation. Most of his "Hi's!" have little chance of being threatened by a reply. Oh, sometimes the person will hear it, laugh, and throw a "Hi!" back, but we're already 10 yards down the street and Jack has moved on to a new person to greet.

His greetings are short but sweet, kind of like him, and this blog entry.

Old Friends

Went out for coffee this morning with Jack, Charlie, and Melissa and Alisa, two women I knew in college, and two of their kids, a 3-year-old and a 2-year-old. Melissa also has a 6-year-old, who was in school, which has to be a slightly odd feeling. Or at least I'm guessing it will be for me.

I hadn't seen either of them in probably around 12 years, and only once or twice since college, which was a few years longer than that. We were all in roughly the same crowd of drinkers, slackers, and people who got together to do both of those things and occasionally cut each other down with sarcastic humor and the like. All in good fun, or at least most of it. Most of us drifted off in our separate ways and tend to only see each other sporadically at weddings. They both live in Denver and a mutual friend had ultimately gotten us back in touch.

So the three of us sat and drank coffee at a patio table in the sun, while their three-year-old and two-year-old careened around, shared control of a pair of sunglasses, and alternately showered affection on Charlie like he was a stuffed animal and avoided him like he was some great beast, both of which he kind of is. Jack remained in the stroller where he drank his water, ate an entire banana and hunk of coffee cake, and then developed a fascination for my ice coffee straw, followed by the ice coffee itself, which I kept from him in part because he was due for a nap in a couple of hours and I didn't want to have to scrape him off the ceiling to get him into his crib.

And the funny thing is that none of us have really changed all that much since college, not really anyway. I mean, we're all much better-looking, smarter, and wildly successful, but we're largely the same people. Except we each have these tiny children who are running, or crawling, or otherwise clamoring around us. And they're totally dependent on us, a bunch of former stay-up-all-night, drink-to-excess college kids who didn't pay enough attention in class and - speaking for myself - didn't really think about having kids one day; didn't even like kids particularly, in fact.

The funny thing is that when I was in college, I didn't really appreciate the friends I had. I took them for granted, I forgot about most of them when I left, and I certainly didn't think that more than 15 years later, 2000 miles away, I'd be sitting drinking coffee with a couple of them while our kids ran around us. And enjoying it. Not wishing I was off somewhere having a beer or sleeping. (That came later, after two hours in 80 degree heat and sun, when Jack was actually taking his nap and I lay down on the couch and either slept or watched an old episode of Star Trek, which is essentially the same thing.)

Jack's only 15 months old, but I already owe him a lot. Because before Jack, I think, I cared mostly about myself, and my life, and my own happiness, often at the expense of others. Today, through totally and utterly falling in love with him, I find myself caring more about others, and my family -- all of them, Emily, my parents, my sister and her family, my in-laws -- and my friends, with kids or without them. Not caring because I feel I should or caring because it's the right thing to do, but caring because I actually do. Having one little person totally dependent on you reminds you that a lot more people are important than just the ones who do things for you, and who you see every day. We are all in this together, and it's nice to think that even if you wasted a lot of time and mistreated a lot of people in college, it's not too late to find them again, sit and catch up, and let your kids play together.

Who knows, maybe one day they'll all be off at the same college drinking, slacking off, and cutting each other down. And having coffee together 15 years after that. You never know.