Cinema Jackadiso

A rainy Friday afternoon. What better time to take Jack to his first ever movie? Horton Hears a Who was playing at the Port Chester cinema at 12:30, so off he and I went.

As we got ready to go, I told Jack he had to use his quiet voice in the theater. We practiced talking softly to each other and for Mommy. On the way there, I explained, OK Jack, if you have any questions, just make sure you ask me quietly. He whispered, "Okay." He was pretty eager to do the right thing.

Walking into the lobby was funny. It was one of these big 14-cinema Loews things -- a huge sprawl of carpet, lengthy candy counter, ropes showing you where to walk to get tickets. Jack walked a little ahead of me, slowly. I'm guessing the size of the place awed him a little; it did me. Since there was no one in line, I taught Jack his first subversive action: going under the ropes up to the counter. Granted, he didn't even have to duck, but it still felt brave. Ha!

After we got tickets, I asked Jack if he wanted popcorn. Jack loves popcorn, but as we were waiting in line, he started to get nervous about something or other, and said he didn't. I ignored him and we got popcorn. His nervousness, though, was a sign of things to come.

We headed into the movie. As we walked up the little ramp, the huge screen slowly came into view. Jack walked slower. His eyes, I'm guessing, got wider. For the next several minutes, everything was a nod. The place was nearly empty, which was nice; we wouldn't have to sit near anyone. I considered going to the far side of the theater, where there were fewer people, but didn't know whether being a long way from the door would be a good idea.

We walked up a few rows to a nearly empty aisle. "Do you want to sit here?" I asked. Jack nodded solemnly and sat down on the step. "Er, no, Jack, come here." I got him up and into the seat. Put him in it (they had booster seats, but I hadn't grabbed one on the way in, so I thought we'd try the seat). I sat next to him and offered him the popcorn. He dug in, but his eyes were glued to the big screen.

The previews started: other kids' movies. Something called "WallE" about a robot by Pixar. Another Ice Age movie. More previews. Now, I'm an adult, and I've seen a lot of movies, and even I was having my world rocked a little bit here by the yelling, the close-ups of various animals, the loud music, and the rapid cuts from image to image. So you can imagine that a 3-year-old at his first-ever movie was having a hard time with it. "I want to go home now," said Jack. A couple minutes later: "I just want to go home." I patted his shoulder reassuringly, sure it would be OK once we got through this preview. Another preview started. "I want to go home," he said again, hiding his eyes and starting to get upset. I started to worry.

Another preview. "I'm sure THIS will be the last one," I said nervously. "Popcorn?" "I just want to go home," he said, but he reached for the popcorn.

You never realize how loud and annoying previews can be until you see them through the eyes, or at least empathically, with a 3-year-old. Of course, I'll now probably end up seeing all of these movies, with Jack, but anyway. Pretty jarring stuff.

Finally the movie started. Opening credits, music. That was all nice. The the elephant showed up. And his friends, who were all yelling. Then the elephant -- voiced, I must add, by Jim Carrey, for whom yelling is kind of a staple -- fell into some water, and got attacked by some leaf bugs, and .... well, it was pretty loud, jarring, and headache-inducing. "I just want to go home now," observed Jack.

I decided -- 10 minutes too late, but better late than never -- that we were sitting too close. I picked up Jack, our popcorn, and my jacket, and headed to the back. We sat in the next to last row, on the side. At the same time, the movie settled down. Things improved.

Jack asked lots of questions. "Who's he?" "Where's the elephant?" "Is that Balloo?" "Where did the elephant go?" "Why is he doing that?" "Why is he the mayor?" "What's that?" Every other question was in his quiet voice. The rest were at normal speaking voice. Which was fine, because the movie was really loud. Which I suspect was largely for that reason. I'm guessing kids movies are played louder than other movies. Just a guess, though.

When the vulture showed up -- because all kids' movies have to have a "villain" and conflict and stuff, just like every other movie I suppose -- Jack gaped for a few seconds, then turned away from the screen and sort of curled his head down into his arm and reiterated a desire to go home. This continued for several minutes, while I silently pleaded for the scary scene to end. Then I said, "Oh, no, he's a NICE vulture. Yes, you see, he wants to play with Horton." Cautiously, Jack watched. Although he still didn't like the vulture, and I admit, the thing was kind of scary at times. Er, for a 3-year-old, I mean.

When the vulture attacked Horton, I said to Jack, well, the vulture just doesn't understand...he doesn't know that there's a whole world of Who's on that clover. This will become important later.

The last half hour of the film, Jack was glued to the screen. His mouth was slightly open, his eyes were wide, he was like me during The Usual Suspects or something, the first time I saw it. Fascinated. Anxious to see what would happen. And at the end, when everything worked out all right and the vulture smiled and cried because he was touched and stuff, Jack turned to me and said "He LEARNED!"

The movie ended, and Jack got right up. I said, well, that's your first movie. Jack kind of nodded, and started down the steps. He seemed pleased with himself, or happy from the movie, one of the two. We walked out of the theater and Jack splashed through every puddle. Got in the car, drove home.

Emily asked him how he liked it. Jack proceeded to go on a 5-minute monologue, most of which I don't recall. "The vulture got him!" was one of them. And "He LEARNED." (Jack sort of has a love-hate relationship with scary figures in movies - Sher-Kahn in Jungle Book, for example.) I'm pretty sure he said something along the lines of wanting to see it again right now.

And that was Jack's first movie.